"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Sunday, November 22, 2009

An Idea: Bad Boy Kickers

I just watched the Oakland Raiders come back to win against the Cincinnati Bengals by a last minute field goal and I had a thought: I'd love to see a bad boy kicker in the NFL, a real arrogant asshole kinda like Terrell Owens. He'd be constantly bragging about what an incredible kicker he was and trash talking other kickers when he was off the field, like calling them Ray Finkle. He'd do stupid show boat shit like run through the end zone after a kick, grab the ball, pull a Sharpie from his sock, sign the ball and then drop kick it into the stands. He could even wear a different right shoe every week decorated with war paint. I think a guy like that would be hilarious.

5 comments:

eclecticradical said...

There have actually been a couple of guys like this... sort of. Sebastian Janikowski made an effort to live up to the 'Oakland mystique' when he was younger. It's just that Oakland has gone so far downhill since their Super Bowl loss that no one can take any 'bad boys' on the Raiders seriously anymore unless they are cornerbacks with unpronounceable names. ;)

Sometime kicker/qb George Blanda was more seriously a 'tough guy' despite his position, but that was a LONG time ago.

JBW said...

I'm talking more Dennis Rodman than Howie Long, ER. More trash talking show boater than bad ass tough guy. Someone supremely entertaining.

eclecticradical said...

Ah ha.

I'd still say that Janikowski came close when the Raiders actually mattered and people still believed he was good.

Pete Stoyanovich did actually blame Dan Marino for a play-off game loss (though not the Super Bowl, in which the Dolphins just got KILLED and no one kick would have saved them) and that is where the term 'Laces out Dan!' from Ace Ventura comes from. Stoyanovich pulled a TO and ripped the quarterback and went so far as to blame Dan Marino for his missed kick.

For a few years after that, some of the younger Dolphins fans who thought Marino had been around too long actually took 'Laces out Dan!' signs to the games.

oneLbill said...

Seriously? This shows how disconnected you are from pro football, James. Mike Vanderjagt is your guy.

He probably still holds the record as the most accurate kicker in league history (I can't confirm), but I am pretty sure he's convinced he's America's greatest human. The guy has called out Peyton Manning. He missed wide right on a potential Super Bowl berthing kick, signed with the Cowboys and was cut mid-season. This article is seemingly fiction, but I think it's pretty close to how he comes across and what people (including teammates) think of him. There is NO doubt that Mike Vanderjagt is the guy you're talking about. I can't tell you how many amazingly arrogant quotes I heard from him in only 3 months.

Here's a quote:

"Michael Jordan missed game-winning shots, Tiger Woods missed putts. Does that mean they're not as good as you think they are? I'm the best kicker in the history of the game regardless of whether I missed my last kick or not, and that's the way I look at it."

JBW said...

Admittedly, I follow college a lot more closely than the pros, one L. You're right, I think Vanderjagt is indeed my man. Too bad he's gone back to the Great White North.

I knew a sports talk radio addict would have the answer. See you in H-town in a few days, amigo.