Monday, July 13, 2009

Something Stupid Someone Else Said

"Sarah Palin loves God. God loves Sarah Palin. And that is why they hate her...and Him. And why she -- and He -- will be back.

[Palin said] the growing of government "outrageously" by President Obama is "immoral." She deliberately chose a God word that suggests evil.... [I]t is evil because it is accompanied by crushing debt that will, ultimately, devour large chunks of individual income, stimulate runaway regulation that will rob us of freedom, and establish involuntary servitude as measured in hours worked to support government. And most of this will fall on future generations; in other words, unborn children. Sarah Palin is concerned about unborn children -- another God thing. Fancy that," - Stuart Schwartz, American Thinker.

OK, OK, fine. I'll finally admit it: I hate Sarah Palin. I hate her because she didn't attend an Ivy League college and because she doesn't go to the right inside the beltway cocktail parties and because she's from a small town. I hate her because she's a strong, independent female and because she supports capitalism and because she embodies traditional American values. I hate her because she didn't abort her Down Syndrome baby and because she likes hockey and because she doesn't wear pantsuits. Oh yeah, and God too. Man, do I hate that guy because...um...because he didn't include superpowers in my DNA, I guess. I want my bone claws, dude!

Sounds pretty fucking stupid when you string all of these desperate right-wing talking points together just to explain why we "hate her", doesn't it? And did I not get that memo? "...He -- will be back." Did God resign because of the vicious liberal media onslaught as well? Are we going to see Him doing interviews with CBS whilst wearing a massive pair of waders, hooking blue whales and landing them on the beach without a care in the world because St. Peter took over running the universe for the rest of His term? And all while also insisting that He too is not a quitter just because He quit? "I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last... Well OK, I suppose I'm not technically gonna be Omega anymore. I guess I'm more Omicron or Pi now. No wait, I'm staying on until the end of July so I'm gonna say Rho. Yeah, I am definitely Alpha and Rho. Continue to fear me, bitches! Hey Todd, can we ride snowmachines now?"


1 comment:

Leslie Parsley said...

I'm having a hate affair with Palin. Her God is a rigid unforgiving God. My God is loving, forgiving and unexclusionary. I think she's delusional and ignorant. She appeals to the baser instincts in people, so I don't like them either. I have family cut from the same cloth. I love them but I really don't like them
very much. Anyone who's hair falls out because of the stress of political life should seek another profession.