Ignorance Is Strength

The stuff he said at first was pretty damn dumb but I now suspect he's saying obviously outlandish things just for the publicity. Please tell me nobody is this fucking stupid:

Continuing his reporting from Israel, Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher tried to clarify his remarks criticizing media coverage of war, in a new Pajamas TV segment. He said that citizens “don’t need to see what’s happening every day” in war and said that it should be up to the military to decide what the media learns about war:

WURZELBACHER: you don’t need to see what’s happening every day, that’s my personal opinion, you don’t have to share it. But, you know, okay, you don’t have to see, you know, 800 dead, 801 dead. It’s like they drill that in your head. … They want you to sit there saying there are so many people dying. You know these are large, these are numbers, you know I don’t want to take away from that. Let me, uh, think about how to say that again. Just essentially, they keep drilling it into your head, newscast after newscast after newscast.

I think the military should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public. I don’t believe they need to be in the front lines with soldiers, I don’t believe they need to, uh, you know, be bothering the military for information or for access to certain areas.

Yes, I can think of no historical precedents to convince me that giving the government absolute power over the dissemination of information from a war zone can possibly be a bad idea. He's a plumber who got famous by being on TV: he fulfills no other qualifications for this job! As was commented on a previous thread, you don't need a license to be a competent journalist but a mastery of language and a working brain are usually prerequisites.

Blagojevich Balls

I told you this guy has balls Stephen Colbert would envy, and now you can get yourself a pair:

My Very Own Obamicon

Does it make me look presidential? You can make your own here.

Scenario: DogvCat IV

I love that they made more of these! I guess I find them so funny because these are boilerplate arguments I hear several times a day about these issues but watching two animals in funny hats make them just kills me:

You can watch the first three here, here and here.

Something Stupid Someone Else Said

"I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it." -Joe the Plumber, turned reporter

Basically what he's saying here is that the media should abdicate it's watchdog duties during times of war and just trust our government to do the right thing. In Joe's world, good Americans just keep their mouths shut and toe the government's line. This guy's a movie of the week; he's a fucking t-shirt. Sending him to the Middle East with any actual expectation of honest and accountable journalism is an irresponsible right-wing publicity stunt but then again, so was his exploitation by the McCain-Palin campaign. I told you he was unqualified to do this job well.

[Update: I just read this and had to add it:

Wurzelbacher arrived in Israel on Sunday to start a 10-day assignment for pjtv.com, a Web site run by the conservative media outlet Pajamas Media. The plumber-turned-foreign correspondent said he wanted to cover Israel’s side of the conflict, because he thought the media was slanting the story to make it look like “Israel’s being bad.”

As I've said before,I think both sides in this war are deluded fools but to say that he's there to cover Israel's side of the story when they're the ones instituting a media black-out in Gaza makes him look like the biggest fool of all.]

Job Interview

This guy has skills:

Barack Obama: Blackberry Spokesman

I'm planning on getting an iPhone soon so the price of Blackberry stock is of no interest to me but it seems that they're getting quite a boost from the new pres-elect:

This week, Michael Phelps signed a deal worth more than $1 million to advertise Mazda in China. Jerry Seinfeld earned a reported $10 million to appear in Microsoft’s recent television campaign.

But the person who may be the biggest celebrity pitchman in the world is not earning a penny for his work.

President-elect Barack Obama has repeatedly said how much his BlackBerry means to him and how he is dreading the prospect of being forced to give it up, because of legal and security concerns, once he takes office.

“I’m still clinging to my BlackBerry,” Mr. Obama said Wednesday in an interview with CNBC and The New York Times. “They’re going to pry it out of my hands.”

What could the “BlackBerry president” charge for his plugs of the device if he were not a public servant? More than $25 million, marketing experts say, and maybe as much as $50 million.

How much you wanna bet that when the Obamas finally choose a dog there'll be a nation-wide run on the things? If anyone reading this has any kind of line to the man: get Obama to say the url for this blog just once on national television; I'll take it from there.

The Rocket-Proof Obamamobile

I can't decide if I want him to add spinners to this thing or not (you can click on the image to enlarge it):

I love this cutaway illustration of the new Cadillac One by John Lawson, Obama included. Specially things like "Doors: eight-inch thick and the weight of a 757 door". Other highlights:

• It can withstand rocket impacts and it's perfectly sealed against biochemical attacks.
• Petrol tank: Can withstand a direct hit thanks to a special foam and armor-plating.
• Bodywork: made of dual hardness steel, aluminum, titanium, and ceramics to "break up posible projectiles".
• Tyres: Kevlar-reinforced with steel rims underneath so it can run away no matter what.
• Accessories include: Night vision cameras, pump-action shotguns, tear gas cannons.
• Comes with bottles of blood compatible with the President's blood.

The only thing I don't get is this: It has a ten-CD changer. A CD changer? What is this? 1994?

I agree; how can the first prez to be rollin' on dubs not have his iPod playlists bumpin'?

That Shamwow Guy

Is it just me or is Vince from the Shamwow commercials really getting on your nerves too? I saw him on my television again the other day when I suddenly had a startling revelation:
plus
equals
That's right: Dafoe impregnated a Gremlin and now their bastard offspring is trying to sell me weird German sponge-towels. They said gay marriage would lead to this but we just didn't listen!

[Update: Welcome to everyone who has found my site by way of StumbleUpon! Please feel free to have a look around Brain Rage.]

[Update II: It has been brought to my attention that Vince directed the Underground Comedy Movie, a particularly raunchy affair that I remember seeing some funny/stupid commercials for several years back. I've never seen it myself but apparently the Church of Scientology got pretty mad at him over its creation (it has also been brought to my attention that he is a former Scientologist). OK, so he's not all bad. I still want him to quit yelling at me though.]

The Evolution Of Technology

A commercial created by a German advertising company showing the evolutionary process with robots. Das ist cool, ya?