Deleted Scene: Luke Builds His Lightsaber

This short deleted scene from Return of the Jedi was shown at Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando over the weekend. It's not the best quality but Lucasfilm Ltd. is tearing every copy off the Internets as fast as you can say "copyright infringement" so get it while it's hot. For the fanboys, of course:

19 Things You Didn't Know About Star Wars

I'm not trying to brag or anything (because I know how much this would impress some people) but I actually knew (or had at least heard of) 14 of these. You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan:

I always wondered what had happened to Hamill's face. Oh, and that Han Solo graphic reminded me of one of my favorite Patton Oswalt bits:


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Star Wars TomTom GPS Recordings

*waives hand all Jedi mind-trick like* You will buy a TomTom GPS device:


Seriously, buy one:


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Kung-Fu Bear Got Himself A Lightsaber

I posted about this guy a few years back in the first week of this blog when all he had was a boring old stick to swing around, and just look at him now. The Force is strong with this one:


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90 Minute Review: Attack Of The Clones

I featured the prequel review of The Phantom Menace earlier this year and I have to say that this one is even better:

I know what you’re thinking—nine 10-minute long YouTube videos that dump all over the Star Wars prequels doesn’t sound like your thing. I thought that too. Until I watched the first segment of the latest 90 minute-long review of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. The review is, from what I’ve seen, hilarious if for no other reason than the reviewer, Mike Stoklasa, has fully embraced his geek rage towards George Lucas for whiffing it so bad with the Star Wars prequels and created a rambling but thoroughly scathing and spot-on takedown.

The best part is that Stoklasa knows all too well that he sounds like an irate and thoroughly depressed nerd and he vamps it up to the hilt as his alter-ego, “Mr. Plinkett,” an crotchety old man that may or may not be a serial killer (“Now I’m the last person in the world who you’d call an expert on love considering that most of my relationships seem to end up inside different trash bags.”).

I actually find the intermediate serial killer jokes to be a bit pedantic and labored (and that's coming from someone who is admittedly morbidly fascinated by serial killers) but speaking as a sci-fi nerd the review is pretty damn spot on. In fact, just as in his first review, I'm fairly impressed with his grasp of narrative and story telling and his explanation of how Lucas has failed on so many levels in his beautiful yet irrelevant prequel endeavours (and I love the Last Starfighter references). Here's part one (you can find the rest at YouTube):

What Your Email Says About You

I would just like to point out to those that use it exclusively that my Hotmail address has pretty much been my digital junk drawer for years now; the Gmail is in the sidebar to your right. And if you haven't watched the Family Guy Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something Dark Side yet then you haven't seen one of my favorite email jokes in the world:


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Running On Empty

Imagine life without Henry Ford:


Beautifully apocalyptic:

I live in Los Angeles. I drive in Los Angeles. I think about traffic a lot in Los Angeles. A few months ago, I discovered Matt Logue’s Empty LA photographs. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but every time I was stuck in rush hour all-hour traffic, I found myself thinking, “What if tomorrow everyone’s car disappeared.”

One of my favorite comedians does a bit about what it was like to live in New York City right after 9/11 and how surreal it was to see streets normally bustling with people and traffic 24 hours a day suddenly standing completely empty. I found the movie I Am Legend to be similarly surreal (and the hyper-charged, meth-head zombies only contributed to this feeling).

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Transgenic Spider-Goats

Just imagine the scientific and commercial applications of this:

ON a farm in Wyoming, USA, goats are being milked for their spider webs.

And if that sounds bizarre, molecular biologist Randy Lewis claims that within two years, spider silk milked from goats could replace your body's tired or strained tendons and ligaments - maybe even bones.

Professor Lewis and his team at the University of Wyoming have successfully implanted the silk-making genes from a golden orb spider into a herd of goats and are now, finally, producing one of nature's strongest products in useable quantities.

Here's the longer video explanation:


Science has been lagging a bit in providing me with the self-driving cars and jet-packs I was promised in its fiction as a lad so I always get excited about surreal advances like this one. I can only hope that a genetically-modified, vodka-lactating cow is on the scientific horizon. Think of the steaks...

Star Wars-Themed Pregnancy Announcement

I've never passed my genes on to a miniature version of myself but if I ever do I'm going to try to make the announcement as cool and nerdy as this one:


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[Update: Of course you don't want to make your wedding announcement too epic or else the pregnancy will just seem like a weak-ass sequel. I think it would be quite interesting to know these two individuals:


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The New $100 Bill Is Futuristically Sexy

It's the next best thing to space cash:

The U.S. Treasury has released images of a redesigned $100 bill with new, Bladerunner-esque security features. Benjamin Franklin now consorts with a blue 3D security ribbon and a "bell in the inkwell" security stamp whose color fluctuates from copper to green (watch a video preview below). While Gawker's Hamilton Nolan damned the futuristic new look as "embarrassingly colorful" — "it looks like a god damn child's crayon scratch pad" — other critics embraced the redesign, which will enter circulation next February: "This is money that tells you it is coming from the future," says Alex Balk at The Awl. "It's... confident and a little aggressive." Matt Kiebus at Death + Taxes is also dazzled: "The United States Treasury just made the most complicated piece of currency my eyes have ever seen," he says. "It's new, it's shiny, I want it."

I think it's pretty damn cool, and pretty damn smart from a socio-economic perspective. The harder it is to forge the stronger our dollar will remain. And this video is fairly technically and stylistically impressive for something produced by a governmental agency:


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Oh My God I Want This Of The Day

I would gladly impregnate someone in order to attain a firstborn child to trade for this:


Yes, the necklace tracking device is a bit cumbersome at this point but just imagine the possibilities: a set of windows looking out onto any view you can program, complete with sound. I'll take one Playboy bunny pillow fight set within a Star Wars laser battle just outside the Pantheon, please.

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Galactic Empire State Of Mind

Darth Vader channels his inner Jay-Z. The bling is strong with this one, he's got 99 problems but a Jedi ain't one, etc.:


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Sudden Disturbing Realization Of The Day

Continuing with the theme, this is what we were all thinking when Leia told Han about her and Luke:


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Picture Of The Day

OK, go ahead and forget everything I said about the painting of Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber redefining the word "awesome" because this painting of him fighting motherfucking Darth Vader just claimed that distinction.

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Predators Trailer

OK, I loved Predator, Predator II was pretty damn good (Busey scared me more than the predators, but what else is new?), Alien vs. Predator was fairly interesting yet also fairly boring and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem literally put me to sleep so I'm giving this franchise just one more sequel before I finally give up on the off-world dreadlocks (and leave the acidic aliens out this time, please):

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Picture Of The Day

Just go ahead and forget everything you know about the word "awesome" because this painting of Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber just redefined it.

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Remote Controlled Flying Millennium Falcon

I want, I want, I want:

Han Solo once bragged that the Millennium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs…and now fans can give it their best shot with the all-new Star Wars R/C MILLENNIUM FALCON! For the first time ever, the MILLENNIUM FALCON — the most beloved and iconic Star Wars ship of all-time — is available as an indoor flying remote control vehicle. Measuring an impressive 11 inches long and 8 inches wide, the largest flying Star Wars R/C to date is highly detailed, easy to fly and includes a charging controller and vehicle battery for up to five minutes of flying time.

It retails for $49.99, is coming out this fall and will make .5 past lightspeed. I plan on breaking a lot of shit around my house around six months from now.

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[Update: Just ran across my most favoritest flash mob to date:


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Spray-On Glass To Revolutionize The World

The future is here and it has super-thin glass sprayed all over it:

(PhysOrg.com) -- Spray-on liquid glass is transparent, non-toxic, and can protect virtually any surface against almost any damage from hazards such as water, UV radiation, dirt, heat, and bacterial infections. The coating is also flexible and breathable, which makes it suitable for use on an enormous array of products

The liquid glass spray (technically termed “SiO₂ ultra-thin layering”) consists of almost pure silicon dioxide (silica, the normal compound in glass) extracted from quartz sand. Water or ethanol is added, depending on the type of surface to be coated. There are no additives, and the nano-scale glass coating bonds to the surface because of the quantum forces involved. According to the manufacturers, liquid glass has a long-lasting antibacterial effect because microbes landing on the surface cannot divide or replicate easily...

The liquid glass spray produces a water-resistant coating only around 100 nanometers (15-30 molecules) thick. On this nanoscale the glass is highly flexible and breathable. The coating is environmentally harmless and non-toxic, and easy to clean using only water or a simple wipe with a damp cloth. It repels bacteria, water and dirt, and resists heat, UV light and even acids. UK project manager with Nanopool, Neil McClelland, said soon almost every product you purchase will be coated with liquid glass.

Finally. The cell phones have been getting pretty cool lately and I love that space tourism still seems like a viable industry but truth be told I was starting to doubt whether I'd get to see some of these super-science technologies I've been reading about in science-fiction for decades. Now bring on the flying cars and robotic mistresses.

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Picture Of The Day

It's a space station. Ah, the treachery of satellites...

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Something Someone Else Said

All too true, and my favorite part of wrapping presents every Christmas.

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