Conservative Political Action Conference

The three day long Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC, starts today and man do these people have their finger on the pulse of the nation. Along with the usual collection of Limbaughs, Hannitys and Coulters who will be speaking at the event (I'm eagerly awaiting who she'll call a "faggot" this year), here's a smattering of some of the more entertaining topics they'll be addressing in their attempts to make the Republican party relevant in American politics again:

Al Franken and ACORN: How Liberals are Destroying the American Election System

Targets of the Fairness Doctrine

Will Congress Take Your Guns?

Health Care: The Train Wreck Ahead

Will Obama’s Tax Policy Kill Entrepreneurship?

Media in the Obama Era: Is Journalism Dead?

The True Cost Of Global Warming Hysteria

So let's see: that's anti-Jewish comedian, anti-community organizing, anti-liberals, anti-Fairness Doctrine (I agree on this one but as I've said it's a straw man threat at best), anti-health care, anti-taxes, anti-media, anti-environmentalism and climatological sciences and oh yes, definitely anti-President Obama. What about the gays and their attempts to destroy the holy institution of marriage? Oh yeah, there's not an election right around the corner this year so we can table that item and be against it next year when it'll more effectively fire up our anti-homo base. On the other hand, they are pro-guns and pro-entrepreneurship, i.e. money. Huh, running on a pro-guns and money platform should have them doing much better with the inner-city youth vote, especially when you factor in Michael Steele's inspired new "Hip Hop Strategy"; maybe when they include the anti-gay agenda next year that coalition will finally all come together.

You know you're flailing as a political party when you're forced to define your ideology predominantly in terms of what you are against and are trying to destroy rather than what you believe in and want to achieve. I hope everyone is ready for some good old fashioned right wing obstructionism because over the last month it's started to look like hamstringing important legislation is going to be their fresh, new, bold "winning" strategy for the next four years. Just how big is that wilderness anyway?