Kung-Fu Bear Got Himself A Lightsaber

I posted about this guy a few years back in the first week of this blog when all he had was a boring old stick to swing around, and just look at him now. The Force is strong with this one:


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Ostrich Gotta Weight A Minute

At least some birds are having a good day today:


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Picture Of The Day

This is really starting to depress me. Might even drive a man to drink.

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Transgenic Spider-Goats

Just imagine the scientific and commercial applications of this:

ON a farm in Wyoming, USA, goats are being milked for their spider webs.

And if that sounds bizarre, molecular biologist Randy Lewis claims that within two years, spider silk milked from goats could replace your body's tired or strained tendons and ligaments - maybe even bones.

Professor Lewis and his team at the University of Wyoming have successfully implanted the silk-making genes from a golden orb spider into a herd of goats and are now, finally, producing one of nature's strongest products in useable quantities.

Here's the longer video explanation:


Science has been lagging a bit in providing me with the self-driving cars and jet-packs I was promised in its fiction as a lad so I always get excited about surreal advances like this one. I can only hope that a genetically-modified, vodka-lactating cow is on the scientific horizon. Think of the steaks...

What If You Really Liked Garfield?

I've been trying to take a bit of a break from the news and politics lately in an attempt to retain my sanity so I apologize for the lack of regular posting of late. That said, I have the whole day off today and I'm in a weird mood so I thought I'd spend the day posting some strange and interesting stuff for your enjoyment.

You know that weird thing that turns you on that you've never told anyone else about? The most fucked up sexual fantasy you have that you think is so strange and dangerous? The dark, sticky fucked up thing that you think about when you're fucking the person you fuck to help you fuck them better? That thing? Well you can relax because "weird" is a vast sliding scale and there are people in the world like this guy to make you feel relatively normal about your life. Warning: once read the following resolved question from Yahoo! Answers can never be unread:

Really freaked out my girlfriend need help?

As a teenager I suffered from severe depression and formed a strong bond with the character Garfield and his outlook. Its sad but reading garfield anthologies obsessively was the only thing that made me feel normal and it eventually took on something of an erotic fixation.

To avoid feeling like a sicko I drew pictures of garfield with a womans(Think Pamela anderson circa 1991) body and garfields head, so that I was assured that my fixation wasn't with animals or repressed homosexuality. This garfield/pam hybrid still had the same biting wit and acerbic outlook and tended to cut herself in self loathing while wolfing down a lasagna to fill the void after sleeping with drawings of a much more handsome and muscular version of myself. These drawings eventually evolved into erotic fanfiction starring garfield and myself (In my head Garfield still has a womans body but someone reading the stories would think Im having sex with regular Garfield.) I killed off Jon in a jealous rage, I didn't touch Odie, I enjoy his companionship and don't mind if he watches.

The stories are your pretty basic wish fulfillment stuff, balanced with self loathing rants. I've been doing this near daily for years and I have a substantial amount of writing in a folder I keep buried in 8 different folders.

My girlfriend stumbled across them by accident when they came up in a search and is pretty freaked out. How can I show her I'm just a normal guy with a weird outlet for my psychological problems and not some kind of sicko?

Here is a small sample so you get the picture.

I looked at her as she lay on the floor crying, my satisfied cock dripped droplets of life juice on her toes, flaccid yet still distended, looking satisfied like a man who has just run a mile and is rewarding himself with a slice of pie.

She reached for the knife as she always did and sliced into her familiar wound, mumbling 'i hate you, i hate you'. Its your own worthless soul you hate, god hates us all and thats why he laughs, he created the world to laugh at our pain, now eat up! I kicked her in the stomach incapacitating her and as she doubled over forced a pan of lasagna down her stupid throat, she coughed most of it up but I made her lick up every last drop as she cried the tears of an empty soul I found my cock get hard from her pain and went for her ***, rubbing her blood gushing forearm into her stupid face.

Odie looked at me with a look of fear mingled with hatred but he new not to interfere, and I could tell by his doggie hardon that he didn't truly mind, she would suck him off later he knew for my amusement. I made her suck many people off, to gain friends in the community but mostly to humiliate her and destroy any self esteem she had left.

I'm no psychologist but I suspect that his issues might encompass slightly more than just an odd Garfield fixation. When I first read that I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or be creeped out by it so I just did both. This could very well be a joke but after all of the other freaky shit you've seen on the Interwebs would you be at all surprised if it wasn't? Crazy.

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SWAT Team Drug Raid Video

Radley Balko at Reason.com revisits a previous post:

In February, I wrote the following about a drug raid in Missouri:

SWAT team breaks into home, fires seven rounds at family's pit bull and corgi (?!) as a seven-year-old looks on.

They found a "small amount" of marijuana, enough for a misdemeanor charge. The parents were then charged with child endangerment.

So smoking pot = "child endangerment." Storming a home with guns, then firing bullets into the family pets as a child looks on = necessary police procedures to ensure everyone's safety.

Just so we're clear.

Now there's video, which you can watch below. It's horrifying, but I'd urge you to watch it, and to send it to the drug warriors in your life. This is the blunt-end result of all the war imagery and militaristic rhetoric politicians have been spewing for the last 30 years—cops dressed like soldiers, barreling through the front door middle of the night, slaughtering the family pets, filling the house with bullets in the presence of children, then having the audacity to charge the parents with endangering their own kid. There are 100-150 of these raids every day in America, the vast, vast majority like this one, to serve a warrant for a consensual crime.

But they did prevent Jonathan Whitworth from smoking the pot they found in his possession. So I guess this mission was a success.

Here's the video:


Look at the house. It isn't a drug den or a crack house, these are your next door neighbors and their kid. This happened in America. Per a discussion in the comment section of a previous post, this is one of the costs beyond the billions we spend every year on the failed War on Drugs. Of course, this video doesn't definitively prove that it's a failure (as Balko says, they did successfully stop this guy from smoking his cannabis) but is this what you imagine when you think of the drug war succeeding?

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Picture Of The Day

Spill, baby, spill. Weak, dude.

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Octothief Caught On Camera

This is crazy cool:

Scuba diving near the Wahine Memorial in Wellington, New Zealand, Victor Huang ran into a camera-thieving Kraken that made off with his brand new Panasonic Lumix DMC-FT2. Following a five minute chase, Victor was able to pry loose his prized possession from the mouth of the beast.

The entire ordeal was captured on film, Jacques Cousteau-style, and set to the tune of Dalmatian Rex and the Eigentones’ “Octopus I Love You.”

This would have been really embarrassing if he hadn't been able to get his camera back at the end. Check it out:


There is ample evidence that these creatures are much more intelligent than they have been popularly given credit for. I think that their otherworldly appearance and lack of cuddliness or anthropomorphism has caused them to be treated more like mysterious aliens in our everyday thinking rather than the curious beings they obviously are.

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Camping Trip Cut Short On Account Of Rain

The camping trip to Salt Point started out really great. My buddies and I took a long hike out to the cliffs overlooking the Pacific ocean, saw some beautiful nature along with some sea lions and whales in their natural habitat and much meat (no, not sea lion or whale) and alcohol was consumed by all. Then yesterday evening God decided that I was having just about enough fun for an atheist so he took a massive piss on our campsite. Even though we had a strong fire going at this point we decided that we wouldn't be able to cook dinner or hang out and drink so rather than spending the rest of the trip huddled alone and hungry in our respective tents we broke camp hurriedly in the dark and drove home late last night. Still, I'm glad we went. It's always nice getting away from everything that stresses me out every day and I really should make an effort to do it more often. So, what'd I miss?

"You're My Boy, Blue! You're My Boy..."

The bluest tongue in the world. Man, that's blue! Just putting it out there.

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Picture Of The Day

Simply because it looks cool. Do you have a headache yet?

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Busy, Busy, Busy

Renewed apologies for the continued lack of posting as of late. Between work and unpacking my house I've hardly had any time for the Internets at all this week. It's actually been pretty nice having the TV and computer off with just music playing instead. Of course I can only do that for so long before I go through information and cable news withdrawal so this shouldn't last too much longer. Regular blogging will proceed shortly.

Over The Top Indian Movie Action Sequence

From the 1995 Indian movie Alluda Majaka comes five minutes of hilariously coordinated stunts and indestructible horses:

Picture Of The Day

Just made me laugh. I love being an Awesomevore.

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Something Someone Else Said

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better." -South Carolina Republican Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, explaining how providing government food assistance to lower-income residents - things like food stamps or free school lunches - encourages a culture of dependence.

So let me see if I've got this straight: the right doesn't want the poor and homeless to reproduce (ignoring for a second the fact that Bauer unfeelingly compared them to stray animals) but they also don't want them to be taught sex education, use contraception or have the right to an abortion. Oh, and Jesus is Lord and all life is precious... so poor kids obviously shouldn't receive cheap school lunches. I don't know about you but I find this ever-present disconnect between the conservative rhetoric and their so-called Christian values more pronounced and distasteful with each passing day.

Death Metal Rooster

Rock out with your cock out:


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Frog Leg Dance

This is a bit creepy:


Apparently since the legs are fresh all of the cells in them are still intact and the biochemical machinery is still working. The unused ATP molecules in the cells act as a source of energy for the muscles and because the salt contains sodium ions it creates a voltage difference as the ions cross the nerve cell membrane. This voltage difference duplicates the effect of nerve impulses from the brain, causing the muscles to contract and relax. Still creepy though...

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The Botfly In Her Head

I love to travel and while most of my vacations have revolved around more urban locales I would very much like to visit more exotic and adventurous places around the world. Then I watched this video. I don't mind telling you that this really freaked me out:

It's Raining Polar Bears

I'm all for reducing our collective carbon footprint and I question the science behind the declarative statements but this is a bit jarring, even for me:

Brief: We wanted to confront people with the impact that short-haul flights have on the climate. We used Polar Bears because they're a well understood symbol of the effect that climate change is having on the natural world.

This is not for the faint of heart (although it's obviously totally CG). Fair warning:

Could A Human Beat A T. Rex At Arm Wrestling?

I've dated girls with bigger guns than those girly reptiles:

“First, we’re assuming that the T. rex won’t just eat the person, right?” asks Jack Conrad, a vertebrate paleontologist at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. Right. This is a sanctioned match, and killing your opponent is strictly against the rules. Who's coming out on top?

“Doesn’t matter,” Conrad says. “There’s no chance that any human alive could win.” The T. rex’s arms might have looked wimpy, but they were extremely strong. Each was about three feet long and, based on the size of the arm bones and analysis of the spots where muscle attached to the bone, they were jacked. “The bicep alone—and this is a conservative estimate—could curl 430 pounds,” Conrad says. Even the beefiest humans max out at around an embarrassing 260 pounds.

Surely an Over the Top–era Sylvester Stallone would put up a good fight? “Not even Lou Ferrigno in his prime would stand a chance,” Conrad says. “They didn’t just have big biceps. Their chest and shoulder muscles were huge too. They had huge arms and shoulders—bigger than my leg. They had the strength to rip a human’s arm right out of its socket.”

Although he does go on to say that since the T. Rex could only move his arms up and down Barbie doll-style Ferrigno might win it on a technicality. I have to admit that I've always considered the T. Rex's arms almost comically tiny but I suppose this is just an indication of how truly massive and powerful an animal they were.

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