"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Monday, October 18, 2010

Brain Fatigue And Rage Deficiency

My sincerest apologies to anyone and everyone who comes here to read this blog on a regular or even semi-regular basis and a special thank you to those who have emailed me to make sure that I've been OK over the past two weeks. I'd like to tell you that I've left the blog sitting idle because I've been too busy with various wacky adventures and sexy hi jinks but the truth is that I've recently realized that I'm extremely tired, so much so that I don't think that I can go on any longer. Don't worry, I'm not so tired of life yet that I'm going to eat a bullet or anything like that but rather I'm actually bewilderingly and completely tired of American politics.

I watch and read about the various races across the country lately and I struggle to give even a modicum of a fraction of a damn. Every campaign commercial I hear now sounds exactly the same to me: "I'm tired of career politicians and business as usual in politics. Our elected officials have forgotten who they work for. Help me send a message to Washington that we're not going to put up with partisan politics any longer. Together we can change the tone in D.C. and take our country back." Blah, blablabbity blah, blah, blah. You've heard it all before; I've heard it all before and you obviously don't believe it any more than I do. I consider this type of boilerplate populist tripe to be no more than insultingly simplistic rhetorical masturbation for the ignorant masses (and I hold the entirety of modern media and journalism specifically responsible for this phenomenon, but that's neither here nor there at this point).

"But James", I imagine you retorting to your computer screens, "I thought you were a big supporter of President Obama! He's all about change and ending the partisan divide in Washington. Have you given up on that message and his seemingly earnest attempts to make America a better place?" No I have not, but I have realized that political culture in this country is so disturbingly corrupt and hopelessly mired in a system of failure and inaction that I no longer possess the zeal to believe that it can be significantly changed within my lifetime, short of a national tragedy or a similarly significantly-sized event to shake the average asshole out of their chronic complacency. In short: I give up, and I just don't care anymore. I'm sorry but it's the truth.

I finally understand what so many of my friends and acquaintances have been telling me over the past several years about politics, about how it's just not that important to get so worked up over people and events that are largely and almost completely beyond the control of the average American. I get it now. It's all a game (as so much of life and society is but that's a topic for another time) to make you feel like what you have to say about how this country is run makes a difference and actually matters to those in power. Now I can imagine many of you similarly retorting to your computer screens, "But James, one man/woman can make a difference! The people still have the power of the voting booth!" I wish I could still believe that matters, but I just cannot.

That isn't to say that I'm going to stop voting or anything as ludicrous or ignorant as that. Hell, I've already registered and the county's going to try to nail me for jury duty as a result so I might as well flex my citizen rights every two years but I've realized that the amount of energy and stamina it takes to remain emotionally invested in American politics is hardly worth the meager reward, either emotional or electoral. I'm reminded of one of my favorite lines from the movie Blade: Trinity. Blade (who is a vampiric vampire hunter played by Wesley Snipes, for the woefully uninitiated) is in police custody and a government psychologist is questioning him to assess his connection to reality and concurrent level of sanity:

VANCE: What about the President? Do you know who's in the White House at the moment?

BLADE: Some asshole...
Now of course I don't think that Barack Obama is personally an asshole (the movie came out in 2004 so draw your own conclusions as to their nonspecific target...) but it does speak to a larger problem within our society: most people who decide to go into politics are either self-involved assholes or self-important assholes or both. Yes, there are some legitimately good men and women in Washington earnestly trying to make this country a better place but the vast majority of people who eventually gain any significant amount of power there, and thus have the ability to institute any significant amount of change within the system, find themselves so endlessly mired within it that they eventually become everything they ran against, if they even made any attempt to portray themselves as such in the first place. Again, in short (and with all due apologies to Orwell): power corrupts, and I'm finally sick of it.

So, the next obvious and obviously self-involved question here is: does this spell the end of Brain Rage? I would very much like to answer in the negative and say "Hell no! Are you fucking kidding me?!" but the more honest answer is "I just don't know". Continuing on the honesty kick, I have to say that it's been fairly liberating not worrying about what I'm going to write here day to day and it's been even more refreshing not paying much attention to the 24 hour news cycle as if it were my job to do so, despite the nagging voice in the back of my conscience urging me to do just that on a continuous basis. I'd be lying if I said that I don't enjoy writing about current events here but I'd be lying even more if I said that I find the entire enterprise of caring about most of those said events more fulfilling than I do taxing of late.

So again, where does this leave us? And again, I just don't know. I've always been one to follow my intellect over my instincts on most matters because I've realized over the years that my instincts amount to exactly jack shit when compared to my intellect (which definitely says more about my instincts than it does my intellect) and I'm not planning on abandoning that line of reasoning anytime soon but I have been known to change my mind on occasion. Regardless, I plan to spend the vast majority of my time in the immediate future concentrating on real world plans that've been fomenting for some time now outside of the blogging world, i.e. dressing up as a masked crime fighter by night and solving mysteries. So if these are indeed my last words here, many thanks to those who have taken the time to read the meager thoughts I've committed to cyberspace over the past few years and bon chance in your own future endeavours. I'll be around, somewhere.

I remain, as always, James B. Webb. Adieu.

P. S.: I would be remiss here if I didn't take a moment to address my conservative counterpart and constantly comedic foil Donald Douglas of American Power. Don, I've tried to find even an iota of entertainment within your posts or even from one of your sycophantic commenters over the past few weeks as I have in the past but I've woefully come up short on both counts. To say that you're a caricature of your side of the aisle, again as I have many times in the past, is still entirely accurate but unfortunately it's no longer nearly as entertaining. To happily quote one of my fellow nihilistic bloggers: "You're fucking clown shoes". I'll be around two years hence to collect my one hundred dollars when Barack Obama is successfully reelected as our president. Enjoy rhetorically beating off to your big victory this November: it will almost assuredly be short-lived. And good luck with that whole "leftists hate America and are trying to destroy it" schtick. I can think of no more suitable nor entertaining epithet for this blog. Please have someone explain the concepts of humor and irony to you at some point before you shuffle loose this mortal coil. And again, adieu.

[Update: There's no way I'm going out on a down note by addressing Don. Here's something a thousand times more kick-ass: Sgt. Adam Sniffen from the 101st Airborne Division delivering the game ball via parachute before the Michigan vs. MSU game at Michigan Stadium two weeks ago:


Too cool. Adios.]

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

127 Hours Trailer

The amazing story of Aron Ralston, a man of more grit, determination and badassery than you and I will ever possess:


(via)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Father Guido Sarducci's Five Minute University

My middle little sister just sent this to me. I was actually surprised that she even knew who Father Guido Sarducci is because she's not that old (notice that the audience is straight out of the late seventies-early eighties) but her explanation that she had watched it during a staff development meeting (she's a teacher) made more sense:


This reminded me of one of my favorite exchanges from the movie Reality Bites:

Lelaina: Quick, Vicky, what’s your social security?

Vicky: Ahh... eight five one two five nine three five seven.

Troy: Very impressive.

Vicky: It’s the only thing I really learned in college...
(hat tip: Shannon)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

100,000 Hits

If I can just keep up this pace I should get my first million hits in just under a quarter of a century! Yes, yes, meaningless I know but I suppose bloggers are supposed to keep track of this sort of thing. Thanks as always to everyone who visits Brain Rage; the visitor from Whittier, California has 1 hour to collect their prize.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Deleted Scene: Luke Builds His Lightsaber

This short deleted scene from Return of the Jedi was shown at Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando over the weekend. It's not the best quality but Lucasfilm Ltd. is tearing every copy off the Internets as fast as you can say "copyright infringement" so get it while it's hot. For the fanboys, of course:

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Advertisement Of The Day

This is a symptom of the "nanny state" mentality, on the political left and right, that I'm constantly decrying:

The forthcoming Will Ferrell-Mark Wahlberg flick The Other Guys may yet be riddled with pot shots from film critics. Poor Ferrell and Wahlberg -- on Muni, they can't shoot back.

While the official poster for the film features a maniacal Ferrell and the menacing Wahlberg sailing through the air, guns drawn, the version in Muni stations features Ferrell brandishing a vial of pepper spray and Wahlberg relying upon his bare fists. This is not a coincidence.

"Well, the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency does have an advertising policy that states ads should not appear to promote the use of firearms or advocate any violent action," explains spokesman Paul Rose. You can read the stipulations against promoting "the use of firearms" and "imminent lawlessness or violent actions" right here.
Do we as Americans really need the agency in San Francisco that makes the trains and buses run on time deciding for us what exposure we should have to depictions of firearm use and violence? I love living in Northern California and The City's great but it does wear on my nerves at times. Be it instances like this or prohibition of illicit drugs or prostitution or gambling or even unpopular/offensive speech it all amounts to one thing: PC bullshit espoused by those who would tell you how to live your life because they supposedly know better than you what's good for you. Well, they don't (and this movie actually looks like it isn't half bad).

(via)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Basil Marceaux.com Won't Be Next TN Governor

The Volunteer state Republican party blew a golden opportunity yesterday when they failed to nominate Basil Marceaux.com as their candidate for governor. Marceaux.com only garnered 0.5% of the primary vote, getting beat by every other candidate including the one guy who withdrew from the race almost two months ago. How does someone with this kind of charisma not win?


You know what I like about this guy? He's real. There aren't many politicians out there these days who promise to murder their constituencies if they break the law; that takes guts no matter how you slice it. I'd like to see Basil Marceaux.com somehow teamed up with Sarah Palin in any way possible, preferably in a mismatched buddy cop flick. "She's a rogue hockey mom with a Twitter account and a devil may care 'yeah sure, you betcha' attitude. He's an incoherent man-child with a rambling website and an affinity for sausages. Together they're: Folksy and Husky." Coming soon to a theatre in my dreams.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sucker Punch Trailer

I have no idea what this movie is about but I'm fairly certain that I'm going to end up seeing it:


(via)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

19 Things You Didn't Know About Star Wars

I'm not trying to brag or anything (because I know how much this would impress some people) but I actually knew (or had at least heard of) 14 of these. You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan:
19 Things You Didn't Know about Star Wars
I always wondered what had happened to Hamill's face. Oh, and that Han Solo graphic reminded me of one of my favorite Patton Oswalt bits:


(via)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Ferris Club

Was Ferris just a manifestation of Cameron's impotent subconscious, brought to the fore by his inability to find meaning or joy within our morally bankrupt society? This mash up trailer makes the case:


(via)

Obscenity vs Freedom Of Expression

A video made by Reason.tv found at my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas' site American Power, posted without commentary because Don supposedly hates the encroachment of government into our personal lives (like any good tea partier) yet also thinks there are things it should protect adults from for our own good (like any good Republican), hence the lack of a stated opinion either way. Regardless though what's happening to John Stagliano in America today is a crime not only against personal liberty but also against free speech rights. Yes, pornography is a form of expression protected by the First Amendment. I don't know about you but I'm having a hard time hearing the shouts of outrage from anti-government, personal freedom loving tea party types when it comes to protecting the civil liberties of people like this man:

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults Of All Time

"Your mom goes to college..." is probably my favorite because it's so innocuous:


(hat tip: one L bill)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Every Troy McClure Project List

Troy McClure has always been one of my favorite Simpsons characters. I still remember where I was when I heard that Phil Hartman's wife had killed him in a bizarre murder/suicide; such a loss to entertainment. If you're like me, you'll read each of these in Troy's voice (click to embiggen). Hilarious.

(via)

Monday, June 7, 2010

90 Minute Review: Attack Of The Clones

I featured the prequel review of The Phantom Menace earlier this year and I have to say that this one is even better:

I know what you’re thinking—nine 10-minute long YouTube videos that dump all over the Star Wars prequels doesn’t sound like your thing. I thought that too. Until I watched the first segment of the latest 90 minute-long review of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. The review is, from what I’ve seen, hilarious if for no other reason than the reviewer, Mike Stoklasa, has fully embraced his geek rage towards George Lucas for whiffing it so bad with the Star Wars prequels and created a rambling but thoroughly scathing and spot-on takedown.

The best part is that Stoklasa knows all too well that he sounds like an irate and thoroughly depressed nerd and he vamps it up to the hilt as his alter-ego, “Mr. Plinkett,” an crotchety old man that may or may not be a serial killer (“Now I’m the last person in the world who you’d call an expert on love considering that most of my relationships seem to end up inside different trash bags.”).
I actually find the intermediate serial killer jokes to be a bit pedantic and labored (and that's coming from someone who is admittedly morbidly fascinated by serial killers) but speaking as a sci-fi nerd the review is pretty damn spot on. In fact, just as in his first review, I'm fairly impressed with his grasp of narrative and story telling and his explanation of how Lucas has failed on so many levels in his beautiful yet irrelevant prequel endeavours (and I love the Last Starfighter references). Here's part one (you can find the rest at YouTube):

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Picture Of The Day

I was reading about this story on my iPhone yesterday and I thought that this was totally Photoshopped but it's actually real:

This sinkhole appeared yesterday, May 30, in a street intersection located in Zone 2 of Ciudad de Guatemala.

A sinkhole is a natural depression caused by the removal of underground soil by water. This process can happen slowly, but sometimes the land just cracks open. In this case, it happened suddenly. The cause: Massive underground water torrents created by tropical storm Agatha.
Some people are calling it the Gate to Hell. I think it looks more like it was carved out by a space-based laser, a la Alien vs Predator.

What Your Email Says About You

I would just like to point out to those that use it exclusively that my Hotmail address has pretty much been my digital junk drawer for years now; the Gmail is in the sidebar to your right. And if you haven't watched the Family Guy Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something Dark Side yet then you haven't seen one of my favorite email jokes in the world:


(via)

Monday, May 31, 2010

Matrix Reloaded Chateau Fight Scene

Posted merely because it's 2:00 in the morning, I'm eating crab-stuffed salmon whilst drinking a second bottle of very nice Chardonnay and I wanted to watch one of the most gorgeous, bad-ass fight scenes ever digitized (it's not fully letter boxed but just try to deal):


At this point I can't imagine a time in my life when this scene will ever seem old or boring.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Quadrocoptor Heralds Rise Of The Machines

This is so cool it's almost scary:

We don't know whether we should be terrified or overjoyed. We've just come across a video demo from the University of Pennsylvania's GRASP Lab that shows an autonomous quadrotor helicopter performing "precise aggressive maneuvers." And trust us when we say, nothing in the foregoing sentence is an overstatement -- the thing moves with the speed and grace of an angry bee, while accompanied by the perfectly menacing whine of its little engine.
These things totally remind me of the miniature forerunners of the hunter-killers in the Terminator flicks, and they're autonomous to boot:


(via)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Iron Baby

Because why not, right?


I posted Iron Man vs. Bruce Lee by the same creator last year.

(via)

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Bechdel Test For Women In Movies

Apparently Hollywood doesn't really care so much if women watch movies:


This is how I know I'm a guy (aside from the external genitalia): I personally own about thirty of the movies she just flashed on screen and I've seen the vast majority of the others. In fact, Raiders of the Lost Ark is my absolute favoritist movie in the world and yes, it's a total guy flick. So I decided to run this test on my whole movie collection (just DVDs, not the digital copies I have on my laptop or PS3): of the 170-something DVDs I own just four passed the Bechdel Test. One more small piece of irony from her list: I've loved The Princess Bride since I was a kid but the main reason I bought it (and I swear this is true) is so that I have at least one romantic comedy in my collection to watch with chicks. As you wish, you killed my father, prepare to die, etc.

(via)