Friday, May 22, 2009

Magneto vs. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

Per a comment by the now apparent ex-Deranged Leftwing Baker is this highly debatable point as to whether KSM could escape a SuperMax prison based on the wholly fictional escape committed by Magneto in the first X-Men film:

A while ago, in response to conservative fearmongering over holding Guantanamo inmates on American soil, Atrios pointed out that terrorists aren't "actual supervillains with special powers." The fact is that Congress has a Constitutionally mandated responsibility to consider the possibility that terrorists are supervillains with actual powers. Today, Glenn Greenwald makes a completely incorrect assertion:
Take note, Chris Cillizza and friends: while it's true that "not a single prisoner has escaped from Gitmo since it was created," it's also true that no Muslim Terrorists have escaped from American prisons and our SuperMax prison "has had no escapes or serious attempts to escape." Actually, the only person to even make an escape attempt from a SuperMax is Green Arrow, who hasn't succeeded despite the help of Joker and Lex Luthor.
Greenwald clearly doesn't remember the Magneto incident of 2003, in which the mutant supervillain escaped from his glass prison facility after Mystique increased the iron content in his guard's blood, which Magneto extracted using his ferrokinetic powers and then used to destroy his cell. Obviously, we need to discover if Gitmo inmates do have mutant abilities, which will undoubtedly require more waterboarding, and this has to be done before the administration gets a dime to close Guantanamo. In fact, I'm pretty sure Nancy Pelosi was briefed on the subject in 2002.
Now we can ignore the fact that the Magneto escape happened in the films and not within the actual comic canon but even then, comparing Magneto's escape to Green Arrow's failed attempt is like comparing Marvel apples to DC oranges. While I truly love Green Arrow he's obviously no Batman, who has infiltrated and also escaped from Gotham's Blackgate prison a number of times, not to mention the time Superman did the same from Metropolis' own SuperMax facility in the guise of Clark Kent whilest interviewing Lex Luthor.

When you add these previous successful attempts to Magneto's own documented cinematic yet dramatic escape one can only draw the obvious conclusion that absent superhuman abilities or a lifetime of training and knowledge in the escaping arts terror suspects like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed would be utterly powerless to liberate themselves or any others from America's most inescapable facilities. And as I've said more than once, these guys aren't Houdini-esque escape artists or even highly trained super soldiers, they're a bunch of thugs and religious nuts...a well trained American marine could beat the shit out of a couple of these guys at once.

A criminal the likes of Magneto would rightly scare me, as would that the likes of Superman, Batman and even Green Arrow. Those are the types of individuals, if realistic, actual, and evil, we should fear as a people and a society. The two hundred and forty or so potential douchebags we have imprisoned in Gitmo, I take a bit more lightly. When one of them starts to manifest ferrokinetic abilities, you go ahead and let me know. Until then, they're pretty much just a bunch of assholes who've trained on a jungle gym in the middle of the Afghani desert for pr films. You'll excuse me if I don't, as opposed to the current leaders of the Republican party, shit my pants in fear at the prospect of their incarceration on American soil.


Kevin Robbins said...

Thanks for your take on this, JBW. I'm certainly feeling more relieved now. I believe this is information that should reach our elected officials of both parties.

One might think with the near constant waterboarding of KSM that he may have Aquaman/SubMariner type abilities. These don't seem to be the type of thing that will get you out of Supermax, though.

JBW said...

Don't misunderestimate the abilities of Aquaman or the Submariner, ex-DLB. Their lifetimes spent beneath the crushing pressures of the ocean depths have bestowed upon them superhuman strength, a definite plus when trying to escape a maximum security facility.

The usefulness of the ability to speak to fish in this same scenario is much more debatable, however.