Glenn Beck Is Still Angry And Crazy...

If this guy was merely my wingnut neighbor and worked in a cubicle I'd be laughing hysterically at every damn crazy thing he says. Hell, I'd be encouraging him to speak out for what he believes in front of my friends while I served them drinks but the fact that he has a nationally broadcast television show makes what he says considerably less funny:


Do you know anyone who's a total douchebag and tries really hard to be funny? You know, someone who tries to really lean heavily on sarcasm and snark in a lame attempt to make some greater point using humor? And before anyone utters anything, this sentence is here exclusively to beat everyone who says, "Yeah JBW, YOU!" to the punch. Ungrateful Philistines...

And while I'm asking, what does naming your son after a "militant, Marxist guerrilla" possibly have to do with the fact that he's now four-years-old? I mean, I don't have any children but I've always been under the impression that most people name their kids when they're only days old and if they're lucky they live to the age of four and hopefully well beyond, despite their designated appellation. But apparently Beck sees this as a salient point: "Yeah, I named my kid 'Hitler Cockface' when he was born but now that he's twenty I think it might be an issue..."

And let me see if I understand this correctly: Van Jones supposedly self-identified himself as a communist (which apparently couldn't be a worse sin if Beck was actually physically channelling the ghost of Joe McCarthy himself) at some point in the past and since everyone knows that people in politics never change their minds or views about anything under the sun ever, ever, ever he must still believe everything he's ever professed and will do anything in his power to bring down this country from within the Obama White House.

Meanwhile, and I've never been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (although I do think that a lot of their rhetoric is total bullshit but we'll have to leave that for another post on another day), Glenn Beck is a self-professed alcoholic and former junkie with a family history of mental problems (his mother and one of his siblings committed suicide when he was younger) who has admitted that he was a total asshole to his friends and family at the time but yet when he joined the Mormon church God was able to rub enough super-pious, feel-good magic all over Beck's "soul" that he's now a changed man. In essence, Beck became a good person because of intangible and unprovable sorcery but Van Jones will always be a cold war era bogeyman and traitor because he said shit at one point that made Beck not like him.

Oh wait, have I mentioned yet why Beck really doesn't like Jones? I only ask because Beck never seems to mention this himself on his show:

(Aug. 25) -- Fox News Channel's Glenn Beck is attacking the co-founder of the group that's orchestrating an advertising boycott of his TV show.

Beck -- who's under fire for calling President Obama a "racist" with a "deep-seated hatred of white people" -- used a segment of his program Monday to portray White House "green jobs czar" Van Jones as a black "revolutionary" and Communist. Hot Air's Allahpundit says it's "a little shady" that Beck's report left out any mention of Jones' role in starting the group Color of Change -- which has rallied dozens of companies to pull their ads from Beck's program because of his remarks about Obama.

Color of Change Executive Director James Rucker says Jones hasn't been involved with the group for years and didn't know about the Beck boycott before it started. Thirty-six companies have joined the protest, according to Rucker.

Actually, the number of companies that have removed their ads from Beck's show has now reached 46 but don't expect Beck to even mention the boycott outside of strange references to being "persecuted" by powers greater than himself. He's just attacking godless communists and radicals, like a good American and just as what he calls his God intended. Do you think God allowed the evolution of douchebags just so we can laugh at them?