"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Friday, December 11, 2009

NFL To Fine Players For Getting Concussions

I guess it was only a matter of time:

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced a stricter league concussion policy at a press conference Sunday, finalizing a provision that would automatically charge a fine of $10,000 to any player who suffers a concussion. "Concussions have become a serious problem in the lives of current and former NFL players, and the only way to nip this thing in the bud is to make the players accountable," Goodell said. "Ten thousand dollars for the first concussion, $30,000 for the second, and $70,000 for the third. Hopefully these fines will make our players think twice before they have their brains jostled against the insides of their skulls." Goodell later added that the league is also considering harsher punishments for more serious injury-related behavior, saying that players who sever their spinal cords would face indefinite suspension and, in most cases, be stripped of their pensions.
Serves them right for risking their physical and mental health just so we can be entertained on Sundays. Selfish jerks.

12 comments:

Leslie Parsley said...

What I don't understand - quite a bit when it comes to football - are these guys injuring themselves of being injured by other players?

JBW said...

I take it by your question that I should say that this is a joke by The Onion, Leslie. If you already knew that then I apologise in advance.

Leslie Parsley said...

No, dummy didn't already know that. Geez! Like I said, I don't know anything about football - and to me anything's possible in pro sports.

magpie said...

You should play our game. It is on every level a more entertaining sport and a superior code.

I recently converted an American friend of mine to Australian Rules. He complains that I've made American football unwatchable for him.
Or maybe that's not a complaint...

JBW said...

As I've mentioned many times magpie, I grew up in Texas: American football is just in my blood. Yes, it's pretty dangerous (which is why my momma never let me play as a child) but it's also damn entertaining and one of my favorite things in the world.

No offense to Australian rules...

magpie said...

I understand that, sport is such a where-you're-from-what-you-know sort of thing. I like all codes of football - roughly in proportion to how much I understand the rules.

It's not unknown for Australian Rules players, after they retire, to play in America as punters.

JBW said...

I've often made the comment that all of our (American) professional kickers and punters seem to be from other countries, magpie. And the NFL seems to take great pains to protect them (as well as quarterbacks, and rightfully so, in my opinion) versus other players.

Yet they're still both largely relatively regarded as pussies, so their you go...

magpie said...

Well check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNH8QtDfqMw

Some American girls have seen the light and know what real football is. More than that... they play it!

You won't recognise it, but the nod to some of the most famous teams in Australia in their uniform design is quite nice...

JBW said...

Some tough looking ladies there, magpie. "Video of the 2010 US Freedom Women's Footy Team calendar." I have to say that I absolutely love the Australian penchant for abbreviation in every day conversation. Aussies are the only people I've ever allowed to call me "Jim", "Jimmy" or "Jimbo" and that's just because I understand how ingrained it is into your culture.

magpie said...

Or putting an "o" at the end of names... Stevo, Johnno, Davo...
Someone might could call you Jay-o. Or Jaybo. For instance.

I think those women look hot. There's a men's comp as well, apparently.
One team are the New York Magpies.

John said...

Do you know who am I? And do you want more interesting?
Here is a hot news:
The Philadelphia Eagles named quarterback Michael Vick their recipient of the Ed Block Courage Award, the team announced Wednesday.
The award is given annually by each NFL team and is decided through a vote of players.
It is awarded to the player who best exemplifies sportsmanship and courage.
Vick and the award recipients for the other NFL Draft teams are scheduled to be honored at a banquet in the Baltimore area in March.
Have a good time!

JBW said...

Well, given that you have the most common male name in the United States John and that your blog is freshly minted this month I'm gonna say that no, I have no idea who you are.

But also given your prediction that the Cowboys were gonna lose big time to the Saints I'm not going to lose to much sleep over your apparent anonymity.

And good news for Vick but he plays for the Eagles. As a lifelong Cowboys fan, why should I care?