Sunday, January 11, 2009

Kung Fu Panda

You just never see these things coming:

Gu Gu is not your typical soft and cuddly giant panda.

Zhang Jiao was attacked by Gu Gu the panda when he fell into the pen at the Beijing Zoo on Wednesday.

For the third time, he's tasted the flesh of an unwitting intruder in his pen at the Beijing Zoo.

His most recent victim was 28-year-old Zhang Jiao, who told CNN he fell into the panda pen Wednesday while trying to catch a small toy thrown by his young son.

"My son and I were playing with a panda doll, throwing it to each other, when I dropped with the toy" into the pen, Zhang said.

The barrier around the pen is about 5 feet tall, but on the other side is a drop of 9 to 10 feet, and Zhang says he could not climb out.

That's when Gu Gu went on the attack.

The 240-pound giant panda sunk his teeth into Zhang's left leg before moving on to the right leg.

"The panda is a national treasure, and I love and respect [him], so I didn't fight back," Zhang said. "The panda didn't let go until it chewed up my leg and its mouth was dripping with my blood."

Zookeepers needed to use tools to pry open Gu Gu's jaws.

Zhang said he never imagined a panda could be so vicious.

"I always thought they were cute and just ate bamboo," Zhang said.

It's a goddamned bear! What did you expect: a rub down and a shiatsu? And my favorite part of this story isn't that he was able to fall over a five foot wall into the panda enclosure (he's Chinese: how tall can he be?) but that he didn't fight back because he loved and respected the panda too much as it was savagely shredding his legs. Social Darwinism strikes again.


JoMala "Truth 101" Kelly said...

And these fucking clowns own billions of our national debt. Makes me wonder who the bigger fucking clowns are.

Van Zan said...

"he's Chinese: how tall can he be?"

... Bao Xishun of inner Mongolia, the Mongol Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China, is currently the tallest man in the world, in terms of confirmed measurement.

And yes Truth 101... 25% of the national debt was owned by foreign lenders at the end of 2007. Maybe close to half of that by lenders - mainly central banks - from China and Japan.

Apart from historical perspectives, my interest in other cultures, and my ethical hatred of Jingoism... this is just one more reason why I find triumphalist American power-drunk fuck-everyone-else table-thumpers to be so laughably stupid, short-sighted and a menace to the America they think they own.

JBW said...

OK VZ, instead of saying "how tall can he be?" I should have said "how tall is he likely to be?" If it turns out that he's one of the tallest people on Earth my face will be red and his legs will be really long and chewed up.