Monkey God Raises Tuition

You know there's some tenured professor having to share an office who's just waiting to blaspheme against the chairman:

He's a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he's the chairman of an Indian business school.

Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday.

The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman.

I've been trying to come up with my best monkey-based puns for this one: "students go ape over new chairman", "he's driving the faculty bananas", etc. And then I realized: these people didn't merely appoint a monkey as their leader; they appointed an invisible, imaginary monkey as their leader! How are we losing the business war to these guys? His purported abilities to lift mountains and leap oceans aside, I wonder if he'll teach his own labs or just make his TA do it for him.