Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Utah Delegate Wants To Fight Satan, Fails

Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in George Soros' name it spells out "Satan's Groin"? It's true (it's totally not true):

Don Larsen, a Springville delegate, offered the resolution, titled "Resolution opposing the Hate America anti-Christian Open Borders cabal," warning delegates that an "invisible government" comprised of left-wing foundations was pumping money into the Democratic Party to push for looser immigration laws and anti-family legislation.

Larsen said Democrats get most of the votes cast by illegal immigrants and people in dysfunctional families.

But it's not the Democrats who are behind this strategy, Larsen said. It's the devil.

"Satan's ultimate goal is to destroy the family," Larsen said, "and these people are playing a leading part in it."

Larsen's resolution contained quotes from the New Testament on the battle between good and evil. The copy of the resolution handed to delegates stated it "fulfills scriptural prophecies about our times."

Professor P. Z. Myers correctly sums up why the Republican party is currently floundering:
I am impressed that they Utah GOP actually managed to reject the resolution … but it was for entirely pragmatic reasons. They said it would cost them Latino votes if they openly professed that Satan was shipping immigrants to America. They didn't say that that was crazy or wrong, just that it might hurt their image with Latinos.
Of course the Democrats have the same problem when it comes to the problems of enforcing our Southern border and they appear just as self-serving and craven as a result, but thankfully not nearly as shit house crazy.


JoeBama "Truth 101" Kelly said...

You think you're so special with your elitist atheism Mr. Webb. I got news for you. Your atheist brotherhood has just as many kooks and idiots as my Christian brotherhood. Maybe more because you don't fear going to hell. Well you should because it's hot there and the Devil will poke you with hot things and illegal aliens will also poke you along with homosexuals. And while you're being poked, prodded and scorched in Hell, I will be poking and prodding 70 virgins on my own planet with Brigham Young, Muhammed and Jesus.

Who sounds kooky now Mr. Webb?

Anonymous said...

Where does God find all those virgins? And, if they are indeed virgins, might they not be, shall we say, suitable for Rule 5 blogging?

JBW said...

I can't argue with logic like that, T101. And I assume that God's finding many of them in Utah DLB, but from what I hear their butts aren't as virginal as many would hope.