Sunday, April 4, 2010

American Power And "What Would Jesus Do?"

It worked! My Easter post this morning caused my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power to shoot his illogicality-wad like the swollen Christian he is (see how dumb that sounds, Don?). See, "JBW's Easter Greeting: 'DEATH TO AMERICA':

Actually, as it's a Holy Day, I wasn't going to run this entry, but since James B. Webb literally took a dump on the beliefs of tens of millions of Americans, not to mention believers the world over, I find little cause for Christian charity:
After showering, compare JBW's post to Pamela's, "Peace And Happiness On Easter": "Wishing all my Atlas readers a sweet and beautiful Easter."

And then ask yourself, once again, on which side of the street will you stand?

Photoshop Credit: Saber Point.

BONUS: Serr8d left a colorful comment at JBW's despicable entry.

So the same guy who accuses me of "sitting lapping his tongue across the keyboard all day waiting for blog updates at American Power so he can create yet another photoshop that's somehow supposed to convince people that he's got skills" writes a third post about yours truly in as many days, replete with Photoshop. As Don points out, he again shopped the picture out to someone else instead of doing his own Photoshop work. And while I applaud this attempt at humor despite his many failures in the past I honestly can't say that I'm all that impressed by it.

Not that it isn't incredibly technically proficient; I'm sure it took quite a bit of work to get my t-shirt and forearm to look just right (I now understand what Don meant by "convincing people that he's got skills"). Of course it's meant to be some kind of insult but the message seems to be a bit scatter shot and incongruous. If you don't know, the woman with the gun is one of the crazed Chechnyan suicide bombers that hit Moscow a few days ago. Now if I wanted to be petty I'd point out that she should be saying "Death to Russia!" since she probably didn't give two shits about America before she blew her terrorist ass up attacking and killing Russians (that tends to happen when people ignorantly lump all terrorists into an amorphous category labeled "evil doers") or that Don is the one constantly shouting "racism" or that I figuratively took a dump on the beliefs of tens of millions of Christians, not to mention believers the world over (see my post about people misusing the word "literally"; I've mentioned that this guy works at a school, right?), but why be petty on the Easter Bunny's birthday?

My real confusion is why anyone would think that this religious fundamentalist would possibly share my values. I support legalizing gambling, drugs and prostitution and I love to make fun of the close-mindedness of religious institutions and many of those who believe in that kind of make-believe, which I consider to be total make-believe. I'd be willing to bet that this woman was adamantly opposed to all of those things before she turned herself into a stain on the ground but more importantly Don himself would agree with her in opposing every point I just enumerated. You see, Don and his conservative ilk constantly bemoan the supposedly encroaching nanny state of the federal government when the topic is providing health care for every American yet he also believes that this self-same government should not only be actively trying to protect free adults from themselves by restricting/outlawing several of these practices but should also be incarcerating those adults for engaging in victimless behaviour that Don finds morally unacceptable. Compare that with the beliefs of fundamentalist terrorists and then ask yourself: on which side of that street will you stand?

In addition to the aforementioned governmental restrictions on Americans' freedoms that Don supports he also has an anathema to freedom of expression when it comes to saying things he doesn't agree with, so naturally nobody is allowed to post comments of any kind on any of his posts about me (I'm sure Jihad Jane up there would approve). To contrast this attempt at censorship of ideas I gladly leave my posts open to comments from anyone, even and especially those who disagree with what I say and believe. Take Don's featured "bonus" comment on my site from his regular reader and blogging buddy Serr8d:
And happy Easter to you as well, you shit-for-brains sucker of cock.
I don't know about you but one of my favorite passages in the Bible is when Jesus is running around calling everyone cock suckers. In the post immediately following the one above Don writes about the terrorist suicide bombings that killed dozens of people in Baghdad this morning. According to the story, the head of the security committee in Baghdad’s provincial government blamed the attacks on the insurgent group Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia. Who does a real American patriot like Don blame?
I blame the Obama administration, and it's going to get worse before it gets better.
Let me repeat that part because I think it bears repeating: foreign religious terrorists attacked and killed dozens of innocent civilians and Don blames his own country for it. Kind of puts all of that supposed Bush Derangement Syndrome into perspective, huh? I wonder who Jesus would blame? Happy Easter everybody.


JoeBama "Truth 101" Kelly said...

Well Mr. JBW! If the world would just listen to what you said Jesus said about our cocks getting sucked this would be a much better world!

Of course you will point out the asshole, Donald Douglas like mysoginist bastards that wrote the Bible left out the sucking of women's naughty bits but I remind you that they used a different vernacular. Man meant everyone back then so of course women are to be orally pleasured as well.

Revelation prophecy clearly states between the lines that the number of the new world order is 69.

JBW said...

I've always thought that number was 42 T101, but maybe I'm just too much of a sci-fi nerd. I'll meet you halfway at 56 and we'll call it Armageddon.

Kevin Robbins said...

Wow, you take a day away from the tubes for Easter and miss so much. In catching up though, Truth. I don't believe it was Jesus who talked of the "sucking of cocks." I believe that was his disciple, Serr8d, who also re-defined the Golden Rule.

Do unto others as, nah fuck em before they fuck you.

Glad to see there were some fireworks here for the holiday. Can't wait til the fourth of July. Don is probably going to be raptured by then because he's so goddam saintly. Anyone here think he attends more than on just Easter and Xmas eve?

Green Eagle said...


Surely you jest when you suggest that this amateurish picture is a technically proficient use of photoshop.

I've seen Stogie do much better in the past, and to tell you the truth, when it comes to defending our favorite absent-brained professor, I think he just isn't that into it.

Good for you, Stogie, for deciding that Donald Douglas was not worth more than the fifteen minutes of your time that I assume it took to create this image.

JBW said...

I do indeed jest and quite surely at that, GE. Stogie says in his post that he personally wouldn't bother with me and to be honest he's not really on my radar either. It seems that my facetiousness can be quite dry sometimes. Perhaps I need to add more inflection to my writing. Maybe I'll try all caps and a shitload of exclamation points; it seems to work for Don.