9/12 Mindset: Police Detonate Suspicious Pony

I used to detonate my little sister's My Little Ponies via my G. I. Joe action figures and some strategically placed firecrackers but this is much more impressive:


I would just like to inform my local police department that I've heard and/or seen some suspicious activity coming from the black Lamborghini that's usually parked across two parking spots at my local Starbucks. Have at it, boys.

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Quadrocoptor Heralds Rise Of The Machines

This is so cool it's almost scary:

We don't know whether we should be terrified or overjoyed. We've just come across a video demo from the University of Pennsylvania's GRASP Lab that shows an autonomous quadrotor helicopter performing "precise aggressive maneuvers." And trust us when we say, nothing in the foregoing sentence is an overstatement -- the thing moves with the speed and grace of an angry bee, while accompanied by the perfectly menacing whine of its little engine.

These things totally remind me of the miniature forerunners of the hunter-killers in the Terminator flicks, and they're autonomous to boot:


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American Power And Domestic Bliss Abyss

Yeah I know, but this one is just more funny than hateful. Enjoy my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power's pithy post "Lego Blogging!", in which he purports to be spending some quality time with his son although it seems to be more about how horrible he thinks I am than playing with Legos:

My son and I build stuff during off-blogging hours. That's one of the cool things about having a wife and kids (not to mention God). Maybe JBW should quit troll-stalking babes on the web and try some traditional values. Seriously, that's got to beat posting anti-child atheist trash or Rachel Maddow bullshit talking points. Freakin' Christ, James B. "Weightist" Webb, get a goddamned life...

"Not to mention God"? I don't get it: is God playing Legos with them? Now Don doesn't know this but I actually do have a wife. She's invisible and she's called "Drink as much wine as you want and sleep with other women". She's the perfect mother to my invisible teenage son "Spend my college money on a trip to Europe" and my newborn invisible baby "Eight hours of sleep a night". I even have an invisible god who never reveals any evidence of his own existence and appears wholly indifferent towards my life and the lives of everyone else on the planet. No wait, that's Don's god. My invisible god is actually called "Think for yourself because magic isn't real" and he's never watching over me but that's OK because I don't need to believe in a supernatural parental figure looking over my shoulder and shaking his finger at me.

Now I love my invisible family and my non-meddling god because they're perfect for me but I would never insist that anyone else should live the same way I do because I believe in individual liberty and personal freedom. Everyone should be free to live their life as they and they alone see fit as long as it doesn't impinge on anyone else's freedom to do the same. As you've probably noticed though, there are many religious folks like Don out there who are convinced of their own moral superiority and have absolutely no problem telling the rest of us how we should live. Don don't like drugs so nobody should be allowed to use drugs. Don don't like prostitutes so nobody should be allowed to sell or pay for sex. Don believes in God so everyone else should too (just make sure it's the right god, of course) and if you don't or you fail to pay his god the proper respect your character and moral integrity will be called into question. Nanny statism and casting moral aspersions: I'm sure it's What Jesus Would Do.

[Update: Whilst making a run for the border Don reports that he's subsequently edited all of the dirty blasphemy and Jesus bashing from his post:

...cleaned up my post from this morning with the profanity. My apologies. That's not so much like me, and I haven't felt right most of the day. Frankly, I do it mostly to push the boundaries and confound the lefty freaks. But that needs to be way less frequent. I'm practically morphing into that which I reject (i.e., unwashed netroots atheist commies), and THAT bothers me.

That Don: he's such a confounding boundary pusher. And by "unwashed netroots atheist commies" I assume that he's referring to any of the dirty nihilist America haters who frequent my comment section because if he was referring to myself he'd also be shouting WEEEIGHTIST!]

Atheist Barbie

Finally, a toy that teaches children good American values. I think I'll hook her up with my Buddy Christ figurine. Her lunch is the best.

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Remote Controlled Flying Millennium Falcon

I want, I want, I want:

Han Solo once bragged that the Millennium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs…and now fans can give it their best shot with the all-new Star Wars R/C MILLENNIUM FALCON! For the first time ever, the MILLENNIUM FALCON — the most beloved and iconic Star Wars ship of all-time — is available as an indoor flying remote control vehicle. Measuring an impressive 11 inches long and 8 inches wide, the largest flying Star Wars R/C to date is highly detailed, easy to fly and includes a charging controller and vehicle battery for up to five minutes of flying time.

It retails for $49.99, is coming out this fall and will make .5 past lightspeed. I plan on breaking a lot of shit around my house around six months from now.

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[Update: Just ran across my most favoritest flash mob to date:


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Something Someone Else Said

All too true, and my favorite part of wrapping presents every Christmas.

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The War On Terror Meets The War On Christmas

In Bauer's defense, this guy's M.O. does seem a bit dodgy:


The first tip off was the fruity accent. Everyone knows that the real Santa's American, just like Jesus.

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Picture Of The Day

Understandable, so I'll allow it this one time. After this, though: No! Bad dog! You let go now! No!

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[Update: I'm serious! He served his time! The Philadelphia Eagles have forgiven him, why can't you? Come on. Capitalism? Business? Bad dog!]

The Ultimate Star Wars Collection

Some Japanese guy put together what has to be millions of dollars worth of Star Wars collectors items in one of the most tasteful decorating schemes I've seen by the type of person who fills their home with plastic toys. It's The 40 Year Old Virgin if he won the lottery and moved to the Hollywood Hills. The picture above is but one small fraction of the collection. You can see the rest of the photos here.

Graph Of The Day

If you don't get this one, you and I are obviously from two different generations.

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Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Review

This review didn't take much effort to write. If you're looking for massive Bay-esque battle scenes and explosions, big shiny robots kicking each other's asses and Megan Fox looking hotter than most women on the planet Earth: Go see this movie. If you're looking for a decent plot line, well-written dialogue and any semblance of logical character development or story progression: Save your ten dollars. I got what I was looking for.

The World's Fastest...

Sometimes faster isn't always better but it's usually cooler:


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Iron Man vs. Bruce Lee

Because why not, right?

Picture Of The Day

A game of hi-resolution Tetris left running for two weeks. With some hard work and a little luck, I'm sure I could flatten this thing in a month, easy.

(via: Boing Boing)

The Super Toilet

I won't be buying one because my flushing needs are thankfully not this severe but it's impressive nonetheless:

The People vs. George Lucas Trailer

Yeah, it's been a little Star Wars heavy lately but I just post this stuff as it comes to me:

Slated for release in 2010, 'The People vs George Lucas' delves into the impassioned feelings and opinions expressed by fans and foes of legendary screen icon George Lucas, and the many debates surrounding his legacy.

Here's the trailer:

I wouldn't say that he raped my childhood exactly but I'm fairly certain that there was some inappropriate touching while Jar Jar Binks watched.

[Update: For no good reason whatsoever here's a bonus video of a guy's cabinet door that sounds exactly like Chewbacca. If you close your eyes you can imagine him arguing with you about locking in the auxiliary power:

]

Underground Time Capsule

Why didn't they have cool toys like this when I was a kid?:

All kids like burying things, especially if they have the option of digging said things up later. That's why this Underground Time Capsule is so great. Not only is it designed to go underground and hide precious objects for later retrieval, but it makes the whole process easier by having a screw-on rock at the top, allowing you to add new items without digging it up.

When I was about fifteen I read a National Geographic article about a time capsule that a New England man found in his home that had been passed down for several generations within his family. MRI scans revealed several artifacts that appeared to have been gathered from George Washington's first presidential inauguration in 1789 but upon finally opening the wooden box it was revealed that the items were collected from the celebration of the 100th anniversary of his inauguration in 1889, still quite interesting and historically valuable nonetheless.

After reading that article I was determined that I too was going to build my own time capsule, not to mark any one historical event but rather just as something to send to my future self; some pre-planned nostalgia if you will. So I gathered together many different articles that would fit into the shoe box I was using as my capsule (yes, I went high-tech): a newspaper, a few magazines, toys, coins and bills, and many other things I've long since forgotten about but basically anything I thought might be cool to look at after a long day of driving my flying car around. I then wrapped the box in several layers of heavy paper, plastic wrap, aluminum foil (was I planning ahead for water or microwave radiation? I have no idea) and then encased the entire thing in many layers of heavy duty duct tape with a large label reading "Open in 2020".

And now it's sitting on the top shelf of one of my closets upstairs as I type this, waiting for the day that I planned as its grand opening. I sealed it in the summer of 1989 and chose the year 2020 as that opening day, partly because it seemed a long way off and partly because it's a round number that sounded really futuristic at the time. But now I'm faced with a quandary: it's been almost twenty years since I sealed the box up and I only have another decade before the opening date but the sealing up process is still relatively sharp in my memory, so I'm considering moving the date back a decade or so or even encasing it in a more durable container and passing it on to family to be opened after an entire century and my own death have long since passed. Of course, if I lived to be 115 and was able to open it then that would be the shit but with my diet and drinking habits I'm not betting on clearing a century. So, what do you think I should do? Any thoughts or ideas will be greatly appreciated.

Triumph And The Star Wars Nerds Classic

This video of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog rightfully taunting the assorted nerds and geeks who dressed up for the premiere of Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones is comedy gold... for me to poop on:

The Obama Action Figure

Complete with American flag, microphone, selection of red & blue ties, weapons, interchangeable hands (?!) and picnic set. Now that's presidential.

Picture Of The Day

Barack Obama's presidential inauguration in LEGO form, at LEGOLAND California.