"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Friday, October 10, 2008

Raping Indy

Oh my God. I just finished watching the newest South Park episode, "The China Probrem" and my sides are still sore from laughing. If you haven't seen it yet stop reading right now, go to Comedy Central's website and do so immediately; I'll wait. OK; pretty funny shit, huh? I wrote what I now consider an all too generous review of The Crystal Skull after having too many glasses of wine back in May but I excuse my initial enthusiasm because of my great love for the original trilogy: I was once again watching an Indiana Jones movie filled with Nazis, jungle temples and a fedora and I think this blinded me to the craptacular CG sequences, the unimaginative alien ending and Shia LeBeouf.

I was watching a downloaded copy on my PS3 with a friend the other day and I started to remember watching the parts that I really didn't enjoy but just looked past at the time as Indy fought the aforementioned Nazis and I felt a little dirty for it. Then today I watched this South Park episode, and I almost died laughing as the boys had to work through the trauma of having seen Indy getting repeatedly raped by Lucas and Speilberg because I knew exactly how they were feeling. And dude did they rape his ass, all in multiple homages to some of cinemas most famous rape scenes but it was the actual acting out of the metaphor and the psychological scarring it had on the audience members that really made the scenes hilarious.

Now if you're sitting there reading this and thinking, "Jesus, James sure is one cold bastard to be laughing during a rape scene," all I can say is lighten up, it's a cartoon. Seriously. Oh, and the subplot of Cartman and Butters taking over the P. F. Chang's to stop the Chinese invasion was great but you knew it would be. I've heard rumors of a supposed fifth Indiana Jones sequel and I'm not expecting anything good to come of it; my only hope is that Lucas and Speilberg will come to their senses and go back to what made me love these movies so much in the first place but their behaviour of late has been decidedly less than encouraging. Chin up, Indy.

5 comments:

one L bill said...

I'm glad you're backing off that review. I *still* can't believe that is the best movie they came up with and they actually felt those graphics and that ending were Hollywood A-List material.

one L bill said...

Oh, and I'll say that since seeing this movie I've learned that the crystal skulls are indeed a true artifact. At the time I thought they were completely fictional. Even so, I still feel like they could have told the story differently, or better, if that's the artifact they want to use.

JBW said...

Yeah, they were on the cover of Archaeology magazine when that flick came out but I still doubt their alien origins.

Patrick Kelley said...

Has anyone seen Ford since the incident?

JBW said...

Yeah, he still looks old.