The New World Trade Center

I've lamented the fact that the area around Ground Zero in New York City is still basicly a big ugly hole several times in the past but this animation of what the new towers and memorial will eventually look like makes me feel a lot better about what we're doing there. Let's get this built already:


(via)

Something Someone Else Said

" I guess I don’t think it’s entirely preposterous for Americans to see themselves as a people. But any conception of the American creed sufficiently general to encompass most widespread American conceptions of individual freedom, equality, tolerance and so on is going to be so general that it will do very little to distinguish American identity from, say, Canadian identity. And that’s clearly not what Glenn Beck or the staff of National Review have in mind when they talk about American values, promote a conception of American identity, or encourage Americans to see themselves as a people. ...

The conservative conception of American identity is so selective and so specific that it tends to suggest to its adherents that many (maybe even most!) Americans aren’t real Americans, or are Americans who betray real American ideals," -Will Wilkenson.

(via)

Picture Of The Day

The cover of Sarah Palin's second and newest book, coming out this November. Now I'm no marketing genius but I think they should have put a big American flag up behind her. I mean, how else are people going to know how totally patriotic she is and stuff? Except for the flag on her sweater, the two flags on her wrist and the word "flag" in the book's subtitle, of course. Do you think she could have chosen a more awkward position for her wrist or what? Can ya see 'em? Can ya see 'em?! Flags! Buy my book, 'cause flags!

Killing The "Ground Zero" Mosque

Unsurprisingly, it seems that my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power is against the so-called Ground Zero Mosque in New York City. He makes a comparison to the protests over another mosque being built in Temecula, California:

This Temecula case doesn't seem to be anything like the opposition to the Ground Zero Mosque, which is clearly an example of Islamic Jihad's imperial conquest. New York Muslims will literally be praying on a battle zone where bodies are still being recovered.

Now that's clearly an example of hyperbolic paranoia but one of Don's readers and regular commenter Stogie (you might remember him) had a decidedly stronger reaction that I can only describe as wholly un-American:

I've thought about this quite a bit, and I don't think the 1st Amendment should protect Islam. It is not just harmless worship, but a totalitarian ideology that seeks to violently overthrow our Constitution and democracy and replace them with Sharia law. The extensive cultural disruption and non-assimilable nature of Islam in Europe has already been clearly noted. Do we want the same problems over here? I think not.

The Constitution, as someone has said, is not a suicide pact. In the 1950s, when we were being undermined by communists "boring from within," would we have allowed communist training centers throughout America? And if they had called themselves "a religion," would that have made it all okay?

So this guy thinks that the First Amendment, you know, the part of the Constitution that guarantees freedom of both religion and speech, should not apply to whichever religions he personally dislikes and the adherents of those religions should be censored by the government for speech he similarly finds objectionable. Interesting that tea party types who believe that the federal government is actively working to curtail our freedoms under an Obama administration are actually quite comfortable letting that government curtail the freedoms of those Americans they personally disagree with. I seem to remember a similar mindset on the political right in this country when the Bush administration asserted its supposed right to disappear American citizens... I mean "detain evil terrorists" indefinitely in former Soviet black sites to be tortured with neither a trial nor due process. And while Don was quite happy at the time to endorse this government torture of US citizens he is at least showing some modicum of level-headedness as it pertains to our First Amendment:

I'm not personally thrilled about Ground Zero, and I join those in protesting it. Seems a slap in the face to those who died and to the living who are still mourning and recovering the dead. I won't personally go so far as banning Islam in America, however, which is what...Stogie [is] supporting, basically. I'm not sure how we're going to do it, but we've got to find a way to separate jihadi Muslims from those of the faith who reject the Islam's fundamentalist literalism in favor of liberalized version of the religion. (And I'm skeptical that's possible, given my knowledge of Islam as a religion of victory and conquest.)

Although he does unapologetically post this incendiary and misleading anti-Muslim ad that's been making its way around the blogosphere lately:


Little Green Footballs adds some pertinent information that one would assume those supporting this ad are quite and/or willfully ignorant of:

It should be pointed out (again) that the “Ground Zero mosque” these idiots are ranting about is actually a proposed community center with an auditorium, swimming pool, and restaurants, in addition to a mosque. It would be housed in an existing 13-story building that’s two blocks away from Ground Zero and has no view of the area; there are two very big buildings in between the proposed community center and Ground Zero. Here is an embedded Google Map in which you can clearly see that the idea of this being a “Ground Zero mosque” is a ridiculous paranoid fantasy.

Suppose the community center was five blocks away instead of two blocks away.

Would that be OK?

How about if it was in midtown?

Far enough?

Maybe it needs to be in Queens?

If you want a special exception to America’s religious tolerance, where are you going to draw the line?

That last question is the one I would ask of religious and cultural bigots like Stogie, along with a few others: What are these people so scared of that they would undermine our Constitutional protections in so eager and flippant a manner? Why do they imagine American institutions and the American people to be so weak and fragile as to not be able to counter or stand up against any opinions or beliefs that differ from the majority of our citizens? And most importantly, who the fuck are they to decide for the rest of us what the extent of our religious freedoms should be? I obviously don't expect honest answers to these questions but I'd certainly be willing to listen if Stogie wants to refudiate any of these points.

Happy 4th Of July

I've decided that I'm going to make posting this picture on July 4th my own little blogging tradition (plus I like how it always makes me feel patriotic... in my pants). I hope everyone has a good time barbecuing or blowing shit up or whatever other red-blooded American things you plan on doing during my favorite country's birthday today.

Something Surprisingly Sane Someone Else Said

"He is a citizen of the United States, so I say we uphold the laws and the Constitution on citizens. If you are a citizen, you obey the law and follow the Constitution. He has all the rights under the Constitution. We don't shred the Constitution when it is popular. We do the right thing." -Glenn Beck on Faisal Shahzad, the Pakistani-born American arrested in connection with a failed attempt to set off a car bomb in New York City's Times Square.

I still think he's a dishonest performance artist but good on him for actually getting the Constitution right this time.

American Power And "What Would Jesus Do?"

It worked! My Easter post this morning caused my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power to shoot his illogicality-wad like the swollen Christian he is (see how dumb that sounds, Don?). See, "JBW's Easter Greeting: 'DEATH TO AMERICA':

Actually, as it's a Holy Day, I wasn't going to run this entry, but since James B. Webb literally took a dump on the beliefs of tens of millions of Americans, not to mention believers the world over, I find little cause for Christian charity:
After showering, compare JBW's post to Pamela's, "Peace And Happiness On Easter": "Wishing all my Atlas readers a sweet and beautiful Easter."

And then ask yourself, once again, on which side of the street will you stand?

Photoshop Credit: Saber Point.

BONUS: Serr8d left a colorful comment at JBW's despicable entry.

So the same guy who accuses me of "sitting lapping his tongue across the keyboard all day waiting for blog updates at American Power so he can create yet another photoshop that's somehow supposed to convince people that he's got skills" writes a third post about yours truly in as many days, replete with Photoshop. As Don points out, he again shopped the picture out to someone else instead of doing his own Photoshop work. And while I applaud this attempt at humor despite his many failures in the past I honestly can't say that I'm all that impressed by it.

Not that it isn't incredibly technically proficient; I'm sure it took quite a bit of work to get my t-shirt and forearm to look just right (I now understand what Don meant by "convincing people that he's got skills"). Of course it's meant to be some kind of insult but the message seems to be a bit scatter shot and incongruous. If you don't know, the woman with the gun is one of the crazed Chechnyan suicide bombers that hit Moscow a few days ago. Now if I wanted to be petty I'd point out that she should be saying "Death to Russia!" since she probably didn't give two shits about America before she blew her terrorist ass up attacking and killing Russians (that tends to happen when people ignorantly lump all terrorists into an amorphous category labeled "evil doers") or that Don is the one constantly shouting "racism" or that I figuratively took a dump on the beliefs of tens of millions of Christians, not to mention believers the world over (see my post about people misusing the word "literally"; I've mentioned that this guy works at a school, right?), but why be petty on the Easter Bunny's birthday?

My real confusion is why anyone would think that this religious fundamentalist would possibly share my values. I support legalizing gambling, drugs and prostitution and I love to make fun of the close-mindedness of religious institutions and many of those who believe in that kind of make-believe, which I consider to be total make-believe. I'd be willing to bet that this woman was adamantly opposed to all of those things before she turned herself into a stain on the ground but more importantly Don himself would agree with her in opposing every point I just enumerated. You see, Don and his conservative ilk constantly bemoan the supposedly encroaching nanny state of the federal government when the topic is providing health care for every American yet he also believes that this self-same government should not only be actively trying to protect free adults from themselves by restricting/outlawing several of these practices but should also be incarcerating those adults for engaging in victimless behaviour that Don finds morally unacceptable. Compare that with the beliefs of fundamentalist terrorists and then ask yourself: on which side of that street will you stand?

In addition to the aforementioned governmental restrictions on Americans' freedoms that Don supports he also has an anathema to freedom of expression when it comes to saying things he doesn't agree with, so naturally nobody is allowed to post comments of any kind on any of his posts about me (I'm sure Jihad Jane up there would approve). To contrast this attempt at censorship of ideas I gladly leave my posts open to comments from anyone, even and especially those who disagree with what I say and believe. Take Don's featured "bonus" comment on my site from his regular reader and blogging buddy Serr8d:

And happy Easter to you as well, you shit-for-brains sucker of cock.

I don't know about you but one of my favorite passages in the Bible is when Jesus is running around calling everyone cock suckers. In the post immediately following the one above Don writes about the terrorist suicide bombings that killed dozens of people in Baghdad this morning. According to the story, the head of the security committee in Baghdad’s provincial government blamed the attacks on the insurgent group Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia. Who does a real American patriot like Don blame?

I blame the Obama administration, and it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Let me repeat that part because I think it bears repeating: foreign religious terrorists attacked and killed dozens of innocent civilians and Don blames his own country for it. Kind of puts all of that supposed Bush Derangement Syndrome into perspective, huh? I wonder who Jesus would blame? Happy Easter everybody.

Lady Gaga's "Telephone" Video Controversy

At my book club meeting yesterday some of my friends were discussing Lady Gaga's newest controversial video "Telephone" featuring Beyoncé, which has apparently been banned on MTV and has been widely discussed in the media lately. Check it out (fair warning, it's rather longish):


Yeah, it's somewhat racy and overtly sexual but I honestly can't say that it's all that shocking or even anything I haven't seen many times before in other venues. In fact, in addition to the obvious Tarantino and Ritchie directorial influences it borrows quite heavily from already established pop culture (MTV's site has a handy guide), whilst also including some not too subtle capitalistic product placement. Now I don't claim to be a Lady Gaga expert (truth be told, I might not even know who she was if not for Internet memes) so I honestly don't know if this is typical of her videos or a radical and tangentially newsworthy departure but regardless, anything deemed controversial by those who know better than you what you should be watching/reading/ingesting/inserting must of course be rightfully decried and destroyed for your own good.

One of my favorite (and I'm assuming somewhat typical of many on the political and social right in this country) reactions comes from Sandy Rios, a FOX News contributor and the president of Culture Campaign, an Illinois-based organization whose mission is "to engage Christians in actively living out and declaring biblical truth in a secular, humanistic American culture" commenting on Megyn Kelly's "news" program America Live today (transcribed by me):

It's the kind of thing we shouldn't even be discussing, much less thinking about from my perspective.

Quite right. Who am I as a rational adult to decide for myself what I should be discussing or even thinking when there are religious folks like Sandy Rios around to tell me what to think? And I'm sure you all remember the clause in the First Amendment to the American Constitution that mentions how free speech that anyone else finds objectionable should be censored for everyone's protection by our nanny state government, right? Oh wait, that clause doesn't exist because that line of thought is total bullshit and just this side of fascist totalitarianism.

But Sandy Rios and her conservative Christian ilk think that it definitely should exist (apparently governmental overreach into the lives of American citizens only exists when it comes to taxes and health care). Here's her reaction to Megyn's incredibly obvious and frankly very patriotic statement that this is art and if you don't like it you should just change the channel and not watch it rather than trying to get it banned for everyone:

You know I'll tell you, I'll give a real simple answer to that: you know that our world is filled with sexual predators. You talk about this every day in the news, these girls that are molested and killed and I don't know if you know this or not Megyn but they've done surveys to find out the men who do these kinds of things to these young girls, something like 85% of them, are involved in some sort of porn. So you may not watch it, your kids may not watch it, but I'm telling you the man next door who's a sexual predator probably does watch it and it has an effect on all of us. This should be outlawed, it should be banned.

What is the phrase "involved in some sort of porn" supposed to mean? Since it seems pretty unlikely that 85% of sexual predators have actually appeared in pornos (not a smart move if you're trying not to get arrested for molestation or rape) I'll assume that she means that 85% of those guys have merely used or seen pornography at some point. Now I have neither research nor polling numbers to back this up but I'd be pretty surprised if someone told me that less than 85% of all men had used or seen porn of some sort or another, much less those who are sexual predators. What kind of sheltered, wishful thinking version of reality is this woman living in where she's this ignorant of the fundamental underlying aspects of human nature and sexuality?

And I think I've heard this argument for why adults shouldn't be allowed to participate in adult behaviour and commit victimless "crimes" with other consenting adults somewhere before. Oh, yeah:


Be it tobacco, alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex I'm sick and tired of hearing the excuse that these things must be forever expunged from every facet of our society because someone else can't or won't be a responsible parent and teach their kids the difference between what's appropriate for children and what's appropriate for adults. Say it with me, soccer moms: "That's only for grown ups!" The problem of course is that for people like Sandy Rios that distinction just isn't enough; adults must also be protected from all things adult because we're just bigger children with the same intellectual and moral deficiencies as our smaller versions.

On that note, one of my favorite quotes/rants ever is by Denis Leary's character Edgar Friendly from the movie Demolition Man:

You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener.

Word. Keep your goddamn government hands off my Medicare and just do your job: telling me and other free adults what thoughts we can have in our heads and what substances/objects we can put into our bodies. That's the American way.

[Update: You can watch an edited clip of the FOX News interview here. And it appears that the reports of MTV banning the music video were false. Good on them for supporting free speech rights.]

The Worst Music Video Of All Time

It's just as if a late-eighties Howard Stern and the former Christian rock band Creed joined forces to create a symphony of jingoistic cheesiness:


And let me get this straight: All angels are Americans? I love the Internets.

(via)

Americans Observe 9/11 By Not Masturbating

I missed this last week. I guess all of those conservatives were right, I am a bad American:

Picture Of The Day

Found via my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas' site American Power, an apparently unauthorized advertisement by a Brazilian ad agency for the World Wildlife Fund. The lines in the upper right hand corner read:

The Tsunami Killed 100 Times More People Than 9/11. The planet is brutally powerful. Respect it. Preserve it.

Now the WWF has already publicly condemned the ad saying that their logo was used without their authorization but my boy Don knows that they're really just lying because his superneocon powers give him the ability to know that everyone on the left always lies about everything all the time, and especially when it comes to shit they hate because it's so patriotic, like 9/11:

But here's the thing: An ad like this is no big deal for the leftist establishment, and not just in Europe. This stuff is standard fare among the folks at Daily Kos, where they're known to celebrate "Happy Twin Towers Day." Moreover, in the non-shocker of the month, the Obama administration is busy with its push to eradicate the historical memory of September 11, which is alleged as a "Republican day and "an obstacle to winning over the hearts and minds of the American people."

So, forget this faux condemnation: The WWF ad is totally of a piece with both the ideological foundations of the global anti-American left AND the core agenda of the Obama administration's ideological program.

Yeah, why wouldn't the WWF authorize a deliberately shocking and tasteless advertisement that is sure to bring down an avalanche of condemnation on their organization from the citizenry of the country that is by far their largest contributor of time and money? It just makes good business sense. Don's explanation about the entire political left and every one of its affiliate organizations wanting to rape, pillage and destroy everything that is good and cool about America is much more probable than some dumbass working at a South American ad agency creating an insensitive ad and then screwing the pooch by releasing it. Don is smart.

Picture Of The Day

When I saw this last night I naturally assumed that it was Photoshopped (so many cool pictures turn out to be these days) but it's totally legit:

The design for the living picture was laid out at the drill ground at Camp Dodge, situated in the beautiful valley of the Des Moines River. Thousands of yards of white tape were fastened to the ground and formed the outlines on which 18,000 officers and men marched to their respective positions.

The day on which the photograph was taken was extremely hot and the heat was intensified by the mass formation of men. The dimensions of the platting for the picture seem astonishing. The camera was placed on a high tower. From the position nearest the camera occupied by Colonel Newman and his staff, to the last man at the top of the torch as platted on the ground was 1,235 feet, or approximately a quarter of a mile...

Incredible as it may seem there are twice the number of men in the flame of the torch as in the whole remaining design, while there are eight times as many men in the arm, torch and flame as in all the rest of the figure. It will be noted that the right thumb is five feet longer than the left hand, while the right arm, torch and flame is eight times the length of the body.

It was taken in 1918 and was intended to promote war bonds but it was never used. You can see other similar "people pictures" from the same time period at the Carl Hammer Gallery here.

40th Anniversary Of The Moon Landing

And what better way to celebrate the anniversary of this incredible scientific achievement than by watching Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon's surface, punching an annoying moon landing conspiracy theorist in the face:


A true American hero, and a pretty scrappy old man.

Picture Of The Day

The Blue Angels naval flight team exhibiting feats of precision choreography against the Statue of Liberty off the coast of New York last Memorial Day (click image for detailed view). America: Fuck yeah!

(hat tip: Intrepid Californio)

Heart Attack Grill

This is how I eventually want to go: Surrounded by hot chicks and fatty beef:

If you weigh over 160 kilograms (350 Pounds) then there is a restaurant where you can eat for free, the Heart Attack Grill!

With a warning on the door that’s it is bad for your health, you’ll find plenty of grease and fat for you to chew down on. The sexy waitresses, dressed as nurses will take good care of you and call 911 (Seeing as it is in the US) in case or an actual heart attack.

So if you happen to be in Chandler Arizona, swing by and get yourself a heart attack.

Did you notice the cigarette poster on the wall behind her? "Cancer too? Sure, why not?" This is the perfect follow-up to my post this morning comparing the United States to the Netherlands. Not only does it explain why we're so obese and dropping dead from heart disease but also why I love this country as much as I do.

FOX News Trashes The Netherlands

It seems that the decidedly conservative network has a problem with Holland for being what they call "militantly secular", amongst other things:


Cheap legal cannabis, easily acquired casual sex, marriage equality for everyone and death with dignity: yeah, that place sounds like a real nightmare! I've personally been to the Netherlands and I have to say that I quite enjoyed myself there. In addition to the aforementioned amenities it's a beautiful country and the people are extremely polite and friendly to foreigners, so I decided to do some research to help explain the discrepancies between my own experiences there and FOX News' partisan condemnations.

Less than an hour on the Internets dredged up some very interesting information:

- life expectancy: Holland is 28th in the world; the U.S. is 45th

- per capita income: Holland is 10th; the U.S. is 15th

- percentage of the population living below the poverty line: Holland has 10.5%; the U.S. has 12%

- health care systems as ranked by the World Health Organization: Holland is 17th; the U.S. is 37th

- heart disease mortality rates per 100,000: Holland has 75.1; the U.S. has 106.5

- obesity rates: Holland is 20th with 10% of the pop. being obese; the U.S. is 1st in the world with 30.6% of the pop. being obese

- infant mortality rates per 1000 births: Holland has 4.7; the U.S. has 6.3

- teen pregnancy rates: Holland has 172 births per one million people; the U.S. has 1672 births per one million people

- murders per capita: Holland is 51st; the U.S. is 24th

- rapes per capita: Holland is 22nd; the U.S. is 9th

- firearm related deaths per capita: Holland is 22nd; the U.S. is 1st in the world

- divorce rates: Holland is 20th; the U.S. is 7th

- suicide rates per 100,000: Holland has 9.4; the U.S. has 11.1

- freedom of the press: Holland is tied for 16th with three other nations; the U.S. is tied for 36th with five other nations

- religious affiliations: Holland has 39% of the population claiming such; the U.S. has 83.1% of the population claiming such

- subjective well-being (happiness) ranking: Holland is 8th; the U.S. is 16th

The only significant statistics I could find where both countries basically tied were for literacy rates, alcoholism rates, drug abuse rates and STD infection rates, several of which would seem to defy the puritanical calls for harsher laws in the failed "war on drugs" in this country. But the obvious conclusion we can come to after processing all of this scientific data is this: The Netherlands needs more religion in their society! I mean, if they're only leading the most powerful nation in the world in each of these 16 categories with less than half as many religious citizens per capita then they're obviously failing as a country. Where's God to conveniently clean up their mess? I'm not sure but am I wrong here?

Now, am I saying that the Netherlands is a subjectively better country than the United States or that I'd rather live there than here? Fuck. No. I love my country and I absolutely love living in the lush, verdant bosom of Northern California. Now of course I'm not going to definitively say that this is "the greatest country in the world" in that knee-jerk fashion that conservatives and jingoists like to use because based on the percentages detailed above, how are they even logically coming to this conclusion? And for whom, other than their own obviously self-absorbed personas?

But I will say this: It's been the greatest country in the world for me to live in thus far and I've been to many other countries in my lifetime, so that's saying quite a bit. And might I suggest that what we as Americans need right now in relation to the rest of the world is a little less definitive declaration about how great we are and a little more measured qualification about how great we can become with a bit of hard work and some honest self-realization. We were once the shining city upon a hill and I truly believe that we can again achieve that goal, we just need a sufficient amount of measured humility and educated inspiration to show us the way. Proost!

(via)

Something Someone Else Said

"John McCain is unqualified to be Commander-in-Chief. McCain is a guy of rather mediocre intellect, little curiosity, and very poor and impulsive decision-making skills. He’s vain and headstrong, and he easily turns opposition over matters of policy or politics into personal vendettas. He became a political commodity in 1973 because he embodied the right-wing working-class value of patriotism under duress at a moment when patriotism and the white working class felt under attack for their complicity in a disastrous foreign war. And he was seized upon by a desperate Republican Party in political free-fall; in the thick of Watergate, the Nixon administration launched him as a political celebrity. He then parlayed that notoriety into a political career a few years down the road. He certainly has a substantial amount of charm and an instinct for playing the press, and he’s hardly the dumbest guy in the Senate. But he is not a responsible or serious person. And to a great degree, when he met Sarah Palin, he probably felt he was looking at a younger version of himself. Which is to say that the “rot” in the GOP, the eagerness to substitute celebrity and resentful pseudo-patriotic gibberish for real political discussion, goes back a lot longer than 8 years." -Matt Steinglass, Accumulating Peripherals

Ever since his disastrous decision to choose Palin as his vice-presidential nominee I've definitely had to rethink my former assessments of the man.

America! Fuck Yeah!!

This is a day late for Independence Day but I wanted to post this extended version of the song from Team America: World Police anyway. Hilarious:

Happy 4th Of July

Yes, I realize that I used this same picture for last years July 4th post and if you can find me something else that makes me just as proud to be an American (and/or just as happy to possess a penis) you let me know. Until then, I hope everyone has a good time barbecuing or blowing shit up or whatever other red-blooded American things you plan on doing during my favorite country's birthday today.

Fireworks: Imperialistic, Or Just Boring?

I was over at my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas' site American Power a short while ago (relax, I'm not trying to reignite our mutual conflagration) where I read his latest post "Fireworks Suck: This Year's Leftist Attack on Independence Day". It's pretty much what you'd expect: A few people on the left like Slate.com are saying fairly stupid things like this:

... the professional fireworks display is an exercise in pomposity, aggression, triumphalism, and hubris. The pyrotechnician—and, more importantly, his patron—intends to ornament the night sky beyond the powers of God himself. He means to inspire awe for little purpose other than to demonstrate his power. The first great fireworks nuts in the Western world were Peter the Great (who put on a five-hour show to celebrate the birth of his first son) and Louis XIV (who, with a specially equipped sundial, used them to tell time at Versailles). Fireworks are imperialist and, as we used to say in school, hegemonic. That they are popularly believed to be populist entertainment does not say much for the populace.

To which sentiments Don hyperbolically ascribes the endorsement of everyone on the political left in this country (it's "anti-Americanism", they all think that America is "a rascist imperialist abomination", blah, blah, blah). As I said, pretty much what you'd expect. But my main reason for this post is to showcase some of the more entertaining bloviations from Don's loyal cadre of readers (in the second update to my "apology" post I mentioned how delusional some of these people were in their assessments of the recent blog war between Don and myself; these fireworks comments are much better reading).

The first is from one Douglas V. Gibbs (I'm not sure if that's his actual name or a favorite court case):

Lefties hate fireworks because they don't understand them, and they don't understand them, because in the simplest terms, they represent (on Independence Day) the blood of patriots, and the fight for liberty. Knowing the symbolism of those fireworks, and listening to the patriotic tunes playing, brings tears to my eyes. The Leftist doesn't see the birth of this nation as a good thing, but rather as a pariah brought upon the world.

Wow, Doug sure has my number. I've always wondered why I've never been able to understand fireworks but now I know that it's because I can't relate to patriotism or the fight for liberty because I vote differently than Doug. Notice also that he does not say "some Lefties" or point to any specific examples, just a blanket declaration that anyone who's a liberal also thinks that the birth of America was a bad thing. Doug is smart.

Next up is my man Dave C who's own commentary, while just as narrow-minded as Doug's, is nonetheless a bit more pithy:

People who don't like fireworks are pussies. Excuse the french.

A simple statement from a simple man, something we can all appreciate. But my favorite comments were these two bon mots from Reliapundit (who for some reason restricted access to his Blogger profile while I was writing this post), someone who even Don has had to caution to take it easy from time to time in the past. Here's the first of them:

...actually, childrem love 'em.

so, not loving them is a sign of brainwashing by postmodernism later in life.

i wonder if the left hates them on new year's eve?

Yes, if you are an adult and you don't love fireworks you've been brainwashed by postmodernism. Never mind that most people were just a bit more slack-jawed watching fireworks in the 1950's because there was a lot less quality and technological entertainment competing for their attention, it's just natural to love them if you're an American and if you do not you've obviously been brainwashed. But wait, it gets better:

i also love ho when lefties drop the mask they reveal how much the hate the little people - the "populace".

palin, nascar, beer, the flag - and fireworks.

the left claims that the populace is inauthentic, and what??? that THEY are the authentic people!?

postmodernism is the opiate of the intellectuals.

Now first, maybe I've done too many drugs in my past but I've always thought that opium was the opiate of the intellectuals. And second, who said that the populace is inauthentic? Populist strawman, anyone? Regardless, the former statements are what interest me more in that they go a long way towards explaining the apparent popularity of now resigned Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, especially during the last presidential election.

Many on the right, and the McCain-Palin campaign last year especially, have built up their support amongst the lower and middle classes by perpetuating and exploiting the meme that the political left in this country doesn't care about them (not so effectively to have won the last election, but still...), that they even resent them, their culture and their small-town ways. That the political left hates "real America". Hell, I myself freely admit to having in the past made fun of Palin, NASCAR, Coors Light and the various people who enjoy those things. Does it mean that I'm going to invite them all over to my house to sit on a couch on my front lawn to shoot tin cans? No, obviously not. But does it also mean that I don't care about their rights and their well-being and that I could give two shits about them and their families? No, also obviously not (but of course there are elections to be won and turning Americans against one another has been shown to be an effective strategy towards that end).

On a related note, one of my favorite lines from the movie Gladiator is this exchange when one of the more intellectual Roman senators arrives at the newly commissioned gladiatorial games and receives a surprised welcome from his other colleagues for attending such a base, populist exhibition:

- Senator Gaius.

- Hello, Senator Gracchus.

- Don't often see you enjoying the pleasures of the vulgar crowd.

- I don't pretend to be a man of the people, Senator... but I do try to be a man for the people.

Well said. What many on the hard-core right in this country fail to grasp is that just because someone doesn't like to hunt or fish or watch cars drive in a circle or even attend fireworks displays doesn't mean that they don't like you, or even that they're a bad American. It just means that they have different interests from you and that they're also an American, just like you are. Thus I take heart in my continued belief that the type of people who for the most part frequent and comment at Don's blog are not representative of most of conservative America or its values, and Buddha help us all if they are.

[Update: It just occurred to me that I failed to make my own views on organized fireworks displays known above so here they are: Admittedly I find them fairly boring (don't worry, I have no children to traumatize by not taking them to a fireworks display but rest assured that if I did I would dutifully attend one every year) although with enough alcohol and maybe a bit of cannabis to enhance the experience they can become quite entertaining once again, and in the end aren't those two things just as much American traditions as fireworks themselves? Enjoy your 4th everyone.]