How Not to Get a Million Hits On Your Blog, And Not Score With Hotties. Ever.You can read an updated wrap up of the back and forth here. This guy is hilarious. I've been laughing my ass off for the past 24 hours about this entire thing (I sincerely hope that Suzanna has as well) but the other McC decided that he would rather instead take it way too seriously and go all old man apeshit on me.
First, accuse Suzanna Logan of being a homophobe.
Next, try to walk it back when you belatedly realize she's hot.
Then, jump into her comments like you're completely obsessed with her.
Finally, do a roundup post, displaying to the world that you've spent your entire day making a complete fool of yourself. Oh, and along the way, be sure to call her "sweettits" and include a lame Photoshop of you with her.
When you're through doing that, go to a Castro Street glory hole, offering up your rump to complete strangers, while bragging that you've got more than 25,000 hits on your blog in the past 13 months.
Losers. They're born that way.
Now in my defense I never accused Suzanna of being a homophobe, just that her joke about "queers" wasn't that funny. I then "walked it back" as a joke because I found out that she was a serious hottie (something tells me that this guy probably doesn't get many jokes, or hotties for that matter). I apparently "jumped into her comments" by leaving two whole messages on her site and she has done the same on mine. I don't know if my "roundup post" necessarily makes me look like a fool but in deference to her stated aversion to "pumpkin" (I really was running out of epithets and I had to replace baby because I didn't want to be repetitive with "babydoll") I did indeed call her "Sweettits" (she prefers the conjoined spelling "Sweetits" which I will use from now on because I'm a gentleman) but I think the Photoshopped picture was funny and looks pretty good.
Now at this point I'm not exactly sure why he's imagining me shopping my sweet ass around the Castro. It could be because I live in the Bay Area or because I support gay rights but I would assume that the more likely reason is that when many conservatives/Republicans enter into any discussion involving homosexuality their thoughts seem to immediately wander to images and scenarios of guys taking it in the ass. To many people like McCain gay issues equals butt sex, and this guy definitely appears to have butt sex on the brain. Oh, and of course I suck because my little blog isn't popular enough; he apparently measures his penis using blog hits.
Until very recently this guy was an assistant national editor for The Washington Times, he actually writes for a living, and since this all started rather than offer up any pithy rejoinders or stinging intellectual barbs he has instead called me an "idiot", a "liberal idiot", an "idiot liberal guy", a "fool", a "loser", "Little Mister Loser", and perhaps most egregiously, "Jimmie". Rather eloquent, isn't he? I can only assume that the phrase "foolish liberal idiot loser guy poopypants" was just a tad too mentally taxing for him to string together. Suzanna, if you are indeed this brain donor's protege you must have brought the vast majority of your talent and skills with you because I fail to see what you could have possibly learned from the talentless hack.
[Update: The lipless wonder has mentioned me again in a post referencing my conservative counterpart's invocation of my name in which Don answers my persistent question about whether he would still oppose equal marriage rights if his own children turn out to be gay (oh yes, he would). I'm still "Little Mister Loser" but I'm also a "young punk" this time as well (man, this guy has range!) and he makes mention of a "miserable faggot" at the end of the post but I don't think he was talking about me (the post was about how gays can't get married because God totally said so a long time ago).
This feels like it's turning into the blogging equivalent of an old man shaking his fist whilst yelling at me about being on his lawn. And dude, it's Brain. Rage. Two words: Brain Rage. George M. Cohen would not approve.]
[Update II: I've now graduated to the level of "masochist", "infamous poofter" (McC's butt sex fetish still thrives) and a "punk" again. Quarterback punk would have been better (and if you get that one, props!) but I am apparently in the midst of being "punk-smacked", a process that appears to consist entirely of an old man calling me names while he soils his Depends in glee. Oh, and he's now measuring my cock using blog hits as well. Have I mentioned that this guy is a professional writer? And at least mention the name of the site after I corrected you in the last update, other McC. The bifocals are right there in your pocket, use 'em. But hurry up now because it's almost time for the Early Bird at Country Kitchen Buffet.]