"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Friday, March 6, 2009

Star Trek Inspired Colognes

Yeah, I admit to being a Star Trek nerd but I feel that my consistent ability to get laid by human females balances out my nerd cred. However if my supply of Abercrombie and Fitch's Fierce ever runs out it's good to know that I'll always have something to fall back on:

What could possibly be better than smelling like the original Star Trek television series? Nothing! Well, besides smelling like me. *WHIFF* Mmmm, chili-cheese dogs. Really drives the bitches wild. I'm serious, Chloe and Ginger are literally fighting over my shirt. CUT IT OUT YOU TWO -- no walk later unless you're good! Created by Genki Wear, there will be three different scents to choose from:

Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk's challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.

Red Shirt

Genki's "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn't true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.

Eh, I'm not crazy about any of them. No, I think I'll be saving my fragrance dollar for Eau de KHAAAAAAAN!

And now, a tribute to all of the red shirts that came before:

5 comments:

Van Zan said...

Can't watch the vid because I'm outside the US, but if I get the static frame right that's one of those Trek action figures from the 70s that are worth a fortune now. I had them once... sniffle.

JBW said...

VZ, you can't watch this stuff down under? I feel for you, amigo.

You're probably the only one awake right now but Don is cracking my ass up. Bonza...

Van Zan said...

When I click on play it flashes a message saying "you've reached this page because we are currently not allowed to share our videos across United States borders. It sucks. We know."

I'm only just up... about to turn in. Yeah I read through some of the professor's chest-thumping...

oh... that's sad.

I think too that this gay-bashing thing of the Prof is a bit... fucked up. Maybe the Prof should tell Mickey Rourke he shouldn't kiss other men because it's unmanly or something... It'd be amusing to see what the Mickster would do.

JBW said...

I had no idea that such laws extended to the Internets, VZ. Bastards...

Sleep tight, amigo. I'll handle "The Donald", as T101 says, in your absence.

Deranged Leftwing Baker said...

I thought it was the world wide web? I blame George Bush. WTF, they blamed Clinton for 8 years.