"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

American Power And Domestic Bliss Abyss

Yeah I know, but this one is just more funny than hateful. Enjoy my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power's pithy post "Lego Blogging!", in which he purports to be spending some quality time with his son although it seems to be more about how horrible he thinks I am than playing with Legos:

My son and I build stuff during off-blogging hours. That's one of the cool things about having a wife and kids (not to mention God). Maybe JBW should quit troll-stalking babes on the web and try some traditional values. Seriously, that's got to beat posting anti-child atheist trash or Rachel Maddow bullshit talking points. Freakin' Christ, James B. "Weightist" Webb, get a goddamned life...
"Not to mention God"? I don't get it: is God playing Legos with them? Now Don doesn't know this but I actually do have a wife. She's invisible and she's called "Drink as much wine as you want and sleep with other women". She's the perfect mother to my invisible teenage son "Spend my college money on a trip to Europe" and my newborn invisible baby "Eight hours of sleep a night". I even have an invisible god who never reveals any evidence of his own existence and appears wholly indifferent towards my life and the lives of everyone else on the planet. No wait, that's Don's god. My invisible god is actually called "Think for yourself because magic isn't real" and he's never watching over me but that's OK because I don't need to believe in a supernatural parental figure looking over my shoulder and shaking his finger at me.

Now I love my invisible family and my non-meddling god because they're perfect for me but I would never insist that anyone else should live the same way I do because I believe in individual liberty and personal freedom. Everyone should be free to live their life as they and they alone see fit as long as it doesn't impinge on anyone else's freedom to do the same. As you've probably noticed though, there are many religious folks like Don out there who are convinced of their own moral superiority and have absolutely no problem telling the rest of us how we should live. Don don't like drugs so nobody should be allowed to use drugs. Don don't like prostitutes so nobody should be allowed to sell or pay for sex. Don believes in God so everyone else should too (just make sure it's the right god, of course) and if you don't or you fail to pay his god the proper respect your character and moral integrity will be called into question. Nanny statism and casting moral aspersions: I'm sure it's What Jesus Would Do.

[Update: Whilst making a run for the border Don reports that he's subsequently edited all of the dirty blasphemy and Jesus bashing from his post:
...cleaned up my post from this morning with the profanity. My apologies. That's not so much like me, and I haven't felt right most of the day. Frankly, I do it mostly to push the boundaries and confound the lefty freaks. But that needs to be way less frequent. I'm practically morphing into that which I reject (i.e., unwashed netroots atheist commies), and THAT bothers me.
That Don: he's such a confounding boundary pusher. And by "unwashed netroots atheist commies" I assume that he's referring to any of the dirty nihilist America haters who frequent my comment section because if he was referring to myself he'd also be shouting WEEEIGHTIST!]

9 comments:

ex DLB said...

Don uses that expression goddamned a lot. I'm a goddamned coward, btw.

I've worked with some religious folks who were of the mind that is taking the Lord's name in vain. I suppose Don could make the case that God is not his name and is just a generalization except that he capitalizes the "G." So, I believe he does accept that as the name of his deity.

You're going to Hell, Don. See you there.

JBW said...

I'll be not thinking about you guys and your sweaty eternity after I cease to exist, ex DLB. Push Don in the lake of fire for me.

JUDGE TRUTH 101 said...

I thank God every day my boy is growing up to be like JBW and not that goddamned Professor Douglas.

Green Eagle said...

"My son and I build stuff during off-blogging hours. That's one of the cool things about having a wife and kids (not to mention God)."

What, you can't play with Lego without God? Who knew?

one L said...

Whatever. We all know you're not getting 8 hours of sleep per night.

JBW said...

Yeah, I figured someone would call me out for that one L but I just love the name (which I kind of stole from Patton Oswalt anyway).

Steven said...

Please tell me that Don is a made up character; that he doesn't exist. I find it hard to believe that there is someone, breathing God's good air, that thinks like that. Really?

ex DLB said...

What the fuck? Don doesn't give me a shout out for pointing out the error of his ways? Goddamn asshole. I'm not saving him a seat in Hell now.

JBW said...

If Don wasn't a real person I would have to make him up just for the laughs, Steven. But he is indeed real, which saves me the trouble.