Jon Stewart's Goatee

A lot of people are talking shit but I like it. Now maybe my perceptions are somewhat colored by the fact that I'm such a big fan of The Daily Show or because I myself am also beardily-challenged, hence leaving the goatee as my only outlet for facial hair expression (what I wouldn't give to be able to grow a pair of really kick-ass Wolverine mutton chops...) but I'm siding with Stewart on this one. It gives him a kind of elder statesman of the fake news vibe, plus I thought Wyatt Cenac's "Tony Stark" jab the other day was pure beardist gold.

Foreskin Man!

Finally, a superhero for the truly complete fanboy. I doubt this one made it to Comic Con last week:

Frustrated by societys failure to protect its most vulnerable citizens, Foreskin Man has taken up the fight agains male genital mutilation.

Aided by the power of his technologically advanced plasma boots, Foreskin Man flies above the city to hunt down criminals who cut tthe genitals of innocent boys.

It is the dawn of a new era. Circumcisers, beware!

Scourge of the diabolical Mohel Decree, faster than a speeding scalpel and aided by his female sidekick Clitty Cat he pulls back the loose skin of society's archaic religious rituals to expose the slightly funky criminal underbelly of male genital mutilation! OK, I made that part up myself. I thought Heroes was getting pretty bad last year but I'd say this is definitive proof that we've finally run out of superhero ideas. Here's his official website. You can read my previous largely undecided take on male circumcision here.

[Update: Welcome to all of my fellow Daily Dish readers! Please feel free to have a look around Brain Rage; and thanks, Andrew.]

19 Things You Didn't Know About Star Wars

I'm not trying to brag or anything (because I know how much this would impress some people) but I actually knew (or had at least heard of) 14 of these. You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan:

I always wondered what had happened to Hamill's face. Oh, and that Han Solo graphic reminded me of one of my favorite Patton Oswalt bits:


(via)

Iron Baby

Because why not, right?


I posted Iron Man vs. Bruce Lee by the same creator last year.

(via)

The Bechdel Test For Women In Movies

Apparently Hollywood doesn't really care so much if women watch movies:


This is how I know I'm a guy (aside from the external genitalia): I personally own about thirty of the movies she just flashed on screen and I've seen the vast majority of the others. In fact, Raiders of the Lost Ark is my absolute favoritist movie in the world and yes, it's a total guy flick. So I decided to run this test on my whole movie collection (just DVDs, not the digital copies I have on my laptop or PS3): of the 170-something DVDs I own just four passed the Bechdel Test. One more small piece of irony from her list: I've loved The Princess Bride since I was a kid but the main reason I bought it (and I swear this is true) is so that I have at least one romantic comedy in my collection to watch with chicks. As you wish, you killed my father, prepare to die, etc.

(via)

Picture Of The Day

An illustration from artist Josh Cooley's Golden Book parody "Movies R Fun" (part of the Lil' Inappropriate Book line) which will be available at Comic-Con this year. You can see a few more examples from The Professional and The Godfather: Part II at the link.

(via)

Clip From Iron Man 2

I can't tell you how much I want to be Tony Stark:


I don't know which technology I love more: that which keeps one's tux from wrinkling within the Iron Man armor or the fact that the helmet leaves enough room to maintain a perfectly coiffed dome. Have I mentioned how much I want to be Tony Stark?

(via)

Picture Of The Day

OK, go ahead and forget everything I said about the painting of Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber redefining the word "awesome" because this painting of him fighting motherfucking Darth Vader just claimed that distinction.

(via)

Picture Of The Day

Just go ahead and forget everything you know about the word "awesome" because this painting of Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber just redefined it.

(via)

Iron Man 2 Trailer Compilation

I loved the first Iron Man flick so I've been meaning to post the new trailers for the sequel but then I came across this fan-made mashup. It's not the smoothest compilation I've ever seen but it's chock full of enough actiony badassery that I'm already looking forward to the second round:


(via)

Iron Man 2 Trailer

This is just the first of what I assume are to be many we'll see before this much anticipated sequel drops:


(via)

Pictures Of The Day

Why would you fuck with this guy?

(via)

Picture Of The Day

The painting "Marvel Mobsters" by artist Edwin David (click image to enlarge). Some of Marvel comic's more morally ambiguous heroes reimagined as 1930's-era gangsters. Just cool.

How To Beat Up Anything

A humor website that is "A guide to fighting anything. Bullies, politicians, robots, even future-versions of yourself, back to harass you about your life choices". Being a huge Batman fan I've always wondered how best to take him out. It was a bit more psychological than I would have imagined:

Let me ask you something, are you determined? Really truly single-minded in the pursuit of your goals?

Cause that’s what it’s going to take to beat the Batman. The bad news is this process will take ten years. The good news is, at the end of those ten years, you’ll have taken out the goddamn Batman. That’s a nice little detail to have on your resume.

Step 1: Forget about fighting him. Seek him out and befriend him. Become his pal. Be “there” for him. Get to the point where he’s relied on you and trusts you with his life. Occasionally, do things to reassure him. Point a projectile weapon at him and say, “I’m going to murder you.” Then pretend to shoot him, and say, “Nah, I’m just joking” then hand him back the weapon. Maybe even say, “But I could have…” Now, it’s going be hard, but do your best to say this last part without menace. DON’T let your gaze harden and then drop your head, while eyeballing him in a malevolent manner. If a camera zooms in for a close-up and possible freeze frame on your scowling countenance, push it away. Just try to keep it light. “But I could have… LOL! Who wants lunch?” Like that. Also, avoid repeating lines with an inappropriate intensity. For example, he picks up the tab for the aforementioned lunch and says, “You can get me next time.” Do not mutter, “Oh I’ll get you alright. I’ll definitely... get you… next time.”

On the last day of your tenth year as friends ask him to come over to your desk to help you with a computer game. He may balk at [t]his, as he’s not known as a computer game expert, but be firm, insist he take a look at the screen. “Why not ask him to help you with something he is knowledgeable about?” you ask? I’m sorry, WHO’S GIVING THE TUTORIAL HERE, YOU OR ME? That’s right.

Step 2: When he leans on your desk to get a look at the screen, quickly snatch his wrist, then stand and pivot. Using your superhuman strength hurl him through the roof of the building. Then quickly fly through the hole his body created, shoot him [with] your heat-vision, then grab him and huck him into the fiery Sun.*

*You must be Superman for this tactic to succeed. I hope that part was clear.

There's always a catch. I also especially liked "How To Beat Up a Tyrannosaurus Rex and Actor Mark Wahlberg". He talks to animals, you know.

(via)

Something Someone Else Said II

"Can someone remind me what it is the NIMBY crowd thinks these detainees are going to do once transferred to the U.S.? They act like these guys are half-MacGyver, half-Houdini, and half-Lecter. Do they think they're Transformers or X-Men or something, and that as soon as these mostly low-level terrorists touch U.S. soil they're going to shoot lasers from their eyes and throw cars at people?

If this proves anything, it's that the Bush-era scare tactics worked better than we thought. The Republican Party has gone from the party of fear to the party of being afraid. If the left ever acted like pansies about something the way the right has about this, they'd be taken to task and labeled 'weak' or 'soft'." -A Daily Dish reader, commenting on the Republican fear mongering and obstructionism over the potential transfer of Guantanamo Bay terror suspects to American soil.

"...these guys aren't Houdini-esque escape artists or even highly trained super soldiers, they're a bunch of thugs and religious nuts...a well trained American marine could beat the shit out of a couple of these guys at once.

A criminal the likes of Magneto would rightly scare me, as would that the likes of Superman, Batman and even Green Arrow. Those are the types of individuals, if realistic, actual, and evil, we should fear as a people and a society. The two hundred and forty or so potential douchebags we have imprisoned in Gitmo, I take a bit more lightly. When one of them starts to manifest ferrokinetic abilities, you go ahead and let me know. Until then, they're pretty much just a bunch of assholes who've trained on a jungle gym in the middle of the Afghani desert for pr films. You'll excuse me if I don't, as opposed to the current leaders of the Republican party, shit my pants in fear at the prospect of their incarceration on American soil." -Myself, commenting on the same subject earlier this year. I've said it before: Comic knowledge is important...

Walt Disney Buys Marvel Comics

Safe and lame meets cool and super powered:

Entertainment giant Walt Disney is to buy Marvel Entertainment in a shares and cash deal valued at $4bn (£2.5bn).

The deal means Disney will take over ownership of 5,000 Marvel characters, such as Spider-Man and the X-Men...

..."We believe that adding Marvel to Disney's unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation," Disney president and chief executive Robert Iger said.

"We are pleased to bring this talent and these great assets to Disney."

Other Marvel's characters include Captain America, the Fantastic Four and Thor.

Despite my obvious anathema to Disney, speaking as a comic fanboy I actually think that this is a good thing for Marvel. Comic-inspired movies are the hot ticket right now since advances in technology and computing power have finally made them cool enough to match their paper back basis and let's face it: Disney has a shit load of cash to make movies with. My only trepidation would be that turning comics into big budget studio vehicles carries the inherent risk that they will be watered down for a mass audience (see: Spiderman) but hopefully the recent success of some real kick ass comic flicks (see: Wolverine) will prevent this from happening.

(via)

Picture Of The Day

Thank Zeus that there are totally-straight, heterosexual individuals like these good Republican congressmen out there safe-guarding the sanctity of marriage for the rest of us honest, non-gay Americans. Just imagine the horrors of our society without them. Really: Just imagine it! One obviously shudders at the thought...

(via)

Comic Knowledge: It's Important!

It appears that life also imitates comic art. I understand the need to be vigilant as it pertains to the possibility of domestic terrorism but this seems like overkill to me:

Comics writer Mark Sable was detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for carrying a script for an upcoming comic book about a writer who is detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for writing a comic about terrorism.

"Flying from Los Angeles to New York for a signing at Jim Hanley's Universe Wednesday (May 13th), I was flagged at the gate for 'extra screening'. I was subjected to not one, but two invasive searches of my person and belongings. TSA agents then 'discovered' the script for Unthinkable #3. They sat and read the script while I stood there, without any personal items, identification or ticket, which had all been confiscated.

"The minute I saw the faces of the agents, I knew I was in trouble. The first page of the Unthinkable script mentioned 9/11, terror plots, and the fact that the (fictional) world had become a police state. The TSA agents then proceeded to interrogate me, having a hard time understanding that a comic book could be about anything other than superheroes, let alone that anyone actually wrote scripts for comics.

"I cooperated politely and tried to explain to them the irony of the situation. While Unthinkable blurs the line between fiction and reality, the story is based on a real-life government think tank where a writer was tasked to design worst-case terror scenarios. The fictional story of Unthinkable unfolds when the writer's scenarios come true, and he becomes a suspect in the terrorist attacks.

"In the end, I feel my privacy is a small price to pay for educating the government about the medium."

These are the types of guys who stare blankly when costumed comic book heroes are referred to as "capes". Leave this type of thing to the fanboys, fellas.

(via)

He's Barack Obama

This new parody cartoon from Jib Jab cracks me up, mostly because if you've been listening to the Republicans lately it's their animated wet dream. The Obama-Signal is the best:

Captain America Is Reborn

One of the coolest things about comics are the incredible physiques and impossible breasts. One of the weakest things about comics is that nobody ever stays dead:

Over two years ago, Steve Rogers died; this summer, he will be REBORN.

Beginning on July 1, writer Ed Brubaker and artist Bryan Hitch present CAPTAIN AMERICA REBORN, a history-making limited series spinning out of CAPTAIN AMERICA #600, on sale now, and centered on the return of Steve Rogers, the original Captain America, to the Marvel Universe. For Brubaker, it represents a pivotal turning point in a saga he has been building for over five years.

"REBORN is the next chapter in the larger story that I've been building in [CAPTAIN AMERICA] since issue #1," explains the writer, who launched this current volume in 2004. "This is a chance to really explore how things have changed in the years since Steve's death and really delve deep into who Steve Rogers is and why he became Captain America. It's a really a [story] with two or three different plotlines that all intertwine, which is a lot of fun and allows us to have [both] in-your-face action and quiet character moments."

"We've been planning the story of Cap's return virtually from the moment that he died," reiterates editor Tom Brevoort.

Cap is too much of a goody two shoes for me but I've still always liked his character so I'm glad that he's coming back but come on: enough with the coming back to life already. Superman, Green Lantern, the second Robin, Colossus, the list goes on and on. The Geekologie Writer has an interesting theory on this:

Wow, does nobody stay dead anymore? I mean, Jesus. Seriously, you started this.

In Jesus' defence dozens of religions include resurrection myths so I don't think the blame for our cultural obsession with cheating death can be laid solely at his sandled feet. "Sole"ly, get it? Yes, terrible, I agree.