Sunday, February 21, 2010

American Power And One Man's Tubby Petulance

So it seems that my conservative counterpart Donald Douglas of American Power didn't much appreciate my making fun of his recent diatribe against his newly formed list of "unprincipled bullies" (read=liberal bloggers Don doesn't like) and says as much in his newest typo-ridden salvo (it's called "Spell Check" Don and it's right there in your Blogger tool bar. Seriously, at least make the attempt to proofread your own stuff; I'm not trying to harp but you supposedly teach at a school and you're making the rest of us with college educations look bad by association) against yours truly, "James B. Webb: Intolerant Sexist Pig":

I discussed earlier "The Narrative" in American politics. The Narrative is the ideological construct the claims an ineluctable progress towards full equality in the U.S., and to challenge that project is to be subjected up to the most vile attacks of "racism," "sexism," and "homophobia." Of course, leftists refuse to hold themselve up to the same standards they hold conservatives, which is a reminder that it's not equality these folks are about, but totalitarianism.

Anwyay, I mention this after noticing that James B. Webb, one of the great purveyors of The Narrative, has once again exempted himself from it. In a post from a few weeks ago ("Ayla Brown Is Available, And I'm Interested"), JBW describes my beautiful friend Suzanna as "Sweetits." Pleading about how ready he is for Scott Brown's daugther, we treated to this fairly significant burst of sexist objectification and anti-femine infantilization:

Yes, I was spurned by Sweetits but I have a good feeling about this one. Ayla, I'm a relatively poor man, I have no real power or influence over anyone, I drink way more wine than any healthy human being should and I prefer not to cook or clean. Come and get it, girl! She'll be in good hands, Senator-elect Brown. Good, busy hands.

Contrary to JBW's claims, I've never insinuated he's gay. But no one needs to insinuate anything about his blatant sexism and progressive hypocrisy. It's just right out there for everyone to see.

So typical of the left, I might add.
First off, "The Narrative" (which I've never heard of before despite being one of it's great purveyors) is apparently responsible for the equal civil and human rights that black folks like Don and women like Suzanna and Ayla now enjoy in this country and around the world but since Don doesn't like some of the PC overkill that has proceeded from it of late (neither do I, for that matter) he's going to go all baby and bathwater on the concept in some kind of chubby attempt to vilify me because I likes the ladies so much.

Speaking of which, almost every sexist statement I make on this site is satire, Don. What are you, retarded? I realize that you're somewhat unfamiliar with the concept because your own version of humor consists mainly of calling people Nazis and attempting to speak in some type of slangy street patois that you obviously have no regular experience using but try to pull the stick out of your ass and at least feign some semblance of a sense of humor. Suzanna did so long ago and even embraced the sobriquet I imparted upon her:
JBW, can't we all just be friends? This linking orgy we all seem to be having is wearing me out. True, I don't normally make friends with the "liberal idiot guy," but in your case - because you like Southern food - I'll make an exception.

Forever yours,
See, that's a girl with a healthy sense of humor (and a few other healthy things, if you know what I mean...). Oops, did I just say that? And as for calling me gay, Don is technically correct: he's never actually written the words "James B. Webb is gay". He's just insinuated as much. Constantly. Over and over and over again. "I'm not saying that you're gay, I'm just saying that you like cock and have sex with other men. NTTAWWT!!" And there isn't, actually. Don can use the implication that another man might be gay as some kind of supposed insult as much as he likes but he'll eventually have to square that with people rightly thinking that he's somewhat of a homophobe as a result. Oh, and to prove how anti-feminine (that's how you spell that, Don) I am here's what I wrote in response to a reader mentioning how boring Sweetits' blog has gotten lately in the comment section of the post Don found so atrocious:
And yes, Sweetits is most definitely living on the boring side. To her credit though she's now volunteering at an inner city organization for kids so I wish her all good things but the constant Jesus schtick is getting a bit old, and I'm a big fan of the man.

Like so many hot chicks I know, she needs a little wine-drinking, blogging Anthropologist in her. Booyah.
I'm such a woman hater. Yes, the last sentence is kind of sexist but again, it's satire done for comedic effect. I don't actually think that every hot chick I know needs to sleep with me. Just most of them, and the fact that Don needs this explained to him would be kind of sad if his resultant indignation wasn't so entertaining to read. Remember what I said about Republican humor fail? So, am I intolerant? Yes, in the sense that I don't tolerate serial dumbassery from portly homophobes. Am I sexist? Yes, in the sense that most men are probably somewhat sexist to a certain extent but I don't think my mother, sisters or any girl I've ever dated would say that I particularly stand out from my male brethren in that regard. Am I a pig? Well, I do eat a lot of bacon, ham, pork chops, etc. and they say that you are what you eat but I don't know how literally one should interpret that particular phrase. Hell, I've even eaten pigs feet, hog maws and chitlins but don't tell Don because that would be RAAACIST!!

[Update: I wrote above "And as for calling me gay, Don is technically correct: he's never actually written the words "James B. Webb is gay". He's just insinuated as much." I mistakenly thought that he had denied calling me gay instead of denying insinuating such. I was therefore incorrect in saying that Don is right. He isn't; he's just a liar instead. My apologies for the oversight.]

[Update II: After whining about what a loser I am because I speak English well in the comment section of this post Don has apparently gone back through his original post and fixed all of his spelling errors (the grammatical errors still remain, of course) without making any acknowledgement of the changes. See Don, that wasn't so hard but when I said to start using Spell Check I didn't mean me. So typical of the intellectually lazy, I might add.]


Anonymous said...

That is definitely a lot of gay references. I'm impressed you found that many. If you're having trouble understanding why they're effective, you only have to look so far as Larry Craig.

AmPowerBlog said...

Listen, JBW, checking my spelling, making personal attacks (ad nauseum by now) as "portly," and declaiming sexism because that's "satire" is not a rebuttal, son. Get a life!

You're a hypocritical pig, JBW. And you're a typical leftist in which the normal rules of civility don't apply. Not everything is theater, though by laughing off everything you hope to get a pass on your bigotry. And should you offend someone, then you ridicule them as "victims." I'm throwing it in your face, little man, since, as always, you simply don't match up. But hey, I'm sure you've gotten into killer shape since last time you confessed you're a beer-bellied sloth, and of course, you've got spellcheck. Whoo hoo!!

What a fucking loser, kid. But keep up that online predation. No doubt you'll find some beaten down, self-hating floozy as desperate for real human contact as yourself. And Ayla Brown? God man, good luck with that!

JBW said...

I'm sorry Don, despite my claim that I welcome comments and debate I've permanently enabled comment moderation so that I can secretly filter out the opinions of anyone who doesn't agree with me and/or I don't like as if I were a pathetic little bitch with a tiny brain and an even tinier dick so no one will be reading what you just wrote.

Oh wait, I didn't do that. I must be thinking of you, old man. And you're a typical blahblahblah, etc, etc. I'm gonna leave your comment up because I don't claim to value free speech whilst censoring my readers like some pathetic old codger (plus I think it's funny when you try to insult me). Better waddle off now, I can hear that container of Ben & Jerry's softly calling your name, Wide Load. Snoogins.

Steven said...

It's apparent that Don has problems. (Peace through Superior Firepower?) Normal conversation won't get through to him, so let us pray.

JBW said...

I don't consider prayer to be that effective either Steven but you're free to do so as much as you deem necessary. Thanks for stopping by.

Leslie Parsley said...

I've seen of this character around the blogosphere more times than I want. This guy seems to have a major personality disorder and needs to lie down on a couch somewhere - or be locked up in a padded cell.

JBW said...

Don's a lovable character Leslie, It's not his fault that everyone is out to get him. It's hard out here for a hack.

JoMala "Truth 101" Kelly said...

A little floozy in a woman is always a good thing.

JBW said...

Is this where I make the, "A little anthropologist in a woman..." comment, T101? Just trying to keep up.