"WHEN FASCISM COMES TO AMERICA IT WILL BE WRAPPED IN THE FLAG
AND CARRYING A CROSS." -SINCLAIR LEWIS

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bush Spends Day Feverishly Booby-Trapping Desk

The guy is such a scamp:

In preparation for the traditional task of welcoming his successor to the Oval Office, outgoing president George W. Bush canceled all his appointments and press conferences Monday so he could spend the day outfitting his desk with a series of traps, gags, and hair-trigger switches. "Oh, man, is he gonna get it," the president said after rearranging the letters on his computer keyboard and supergluing the direct-line-to-the-Pentagon telephone to its base. "If the 44th president is anything like me, he'll grab this can of peanuts to snack on when he's talking to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and when he does—bam! Right in his face!"

As one of his last official acts in office, Bush reportedly rigged the presidential drawers, chair, and ceiling fan with a number of inconveniencing though harmless devices, including Vaseline-covered pens, fishing-line trip wires, a saltshaker with the top unscrewed, a fake set of nuclear launch codes, an inflated whoopee cushion, and a drawerful of pickles. After backing slowly away from his desk, the president informed his top aides that, if he can get back from the inauguration quickly enough, he also plans to place a bag of canine excrement near the Rose Garden door and set it aflame.

Maybe it's just the frat boy image he projects but the best part about reading this obviously made up story is that I can totally imagine him laughing about some of these things in real life. Less than a week left; I'm going to miss him.

12 comments:

Van Zan said...

It's a strange time now. A strange feeling in watching this presidency wind up... it's like we've been watching a hilarious sit-com while our kitchen is on fire. And we know the repair bill is going to be horrendous, and we'll be working serious OT to pay for it... but God what a better kitchen we're going to be building! Know what I mean?

Grace Explosion said...
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JBW said...

I agree, VZ. It's sad that things had to get this shitty but at least we'll soon have an adult as our leader.

Grace, these things you and other right wingers are predicting will happen under Obama's watch are completely without proof or merit. They're textbook attacks that are routinely leveled against anyone on the left and you appear less than intelligent by repeating them.

Please either try to contribute something original around here or peddle your boiler-plate rhetoric over at Don's place where people will appreciate it.

Deranged Leftwing Baker said...

Grace, shouldn't you be busy working on the secession thing? How will we miss you holier-than-us folks if you won't go away?

TRUTH 101 said...

Grace is aperfect example of the right's pandering to evangelicals. The Professor pretends to be happy when she leaves one of her rants. But I guarentee if she was his neighbor, he'd move.

one L bill said...

The Family Guy/American Dad versions of W are pretty goog. I just love the idea of him being a snickering school boy.

Make no mistake. If I ever see him sitting around at a restaurant with Laura in a few years, I will not hesitate to approach him and tell him how much joy his random acts of personality of brought me.

Grace Explosion said...
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Grace Explosion said...
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TRUTH 101 said...

Little advice for you Grace. I closed down my original site for many reasons. The biggest one is that it became old and stale. Much like you are now Grace. Good luck finding a new web persona Grace.

repsac3 said...

Re: Closing down websites...

At the risk of being a little frightened by the answer, I'm curious why Grace Explosion's eponymous blog has gone "invitation only?" Doesn't that hurt your getting your message out, or did God tell you that by making people ask for admission, you're actually making them work toward their ultimate salvation, or something?

Just curious...

TRUTH 101 said...

Poor Grace. She'll open her site back up after a few days of nobody answering her invitation. Unless the Rapture has started already and she disappeared. I personally think she is what's keeping the Rapture from starting. We don't want to listen to her deluded rants from now to eternity. I doubt God wants to either.

Grace Explosion said...
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