Monday, March 30, 2009

Quote For The Day

"Several months ago my ex-wife (divorced 7 years ago) decided she wanted to modify our child-custody arrangement. She had no basis whatseover to do this. For seven years, I have exercised joint custody responsibly. (More responsibly than she has, I might add.) I have met all my obligations. I am a solid citizen. I adore my children and they love me back. Her lawyers had a plan, however.

They concocted a phony tale (that I threatened her) in order to get me into Court. I came to court without a lawyer because their story was so outrageous that I knew the charges would be thrown out. When I got to Court, they served me with "new" papers which alleged drug abuse and the need for a drug-court intervention. I was summarily sent for a drug test. I tested negative for the real drugs (meth, coke, opiates, etc) but the test revealed traces of marijuana.

I stepped back into court only minutes later to greet a hostile judge who stripped me of all parental rights. As I write this, I have not seen my children in almost three months. Of course I will win back my children eventually, but this has been a bloodbath for the entire family. I was outed by my ex-wife in her efforts to gain a legal advantage and it has worked.

I also know that she did this to hurt me, but something strange has occurred. I suddenly feel the benefits of being out of the closet. It feels good. It feels right. It feels like me. Funny thing about stigma. Stigma is only real if you think it is. Of course, I haven't smoked pot in several months because I have been faced with a choice between my children and my meds. Since New York lacks a medical marijuana statute, I go without the meds. I sleep a couple of hours at a time, usually on the couch. It is after 4:15 AM as I write this. Insomnia anyone?" -A reader at The Daily Dish, on coming out of "The Cannabis Closet"


Anonymous said...

JBW, good luck working things out.

Love the new look at your blog.

Van Zan said...

Custody and maintenance issues are one area where men often come off badly in disproportionate numbers before the courts here - and I assume 'there' too. There's an entire industry devoted to tracking down so-called deadbeat fathers and "making them pay"... whether or not they have the means. This of course leads to spiraling rates of suicide... they just can't keep up.

I personally know of a case where the first wife, living the high life off the present earnings of her former husband (way beyond what is required for raising a child), has actually gone after assets belonging to the man's current wife.

JBW said...

I've never had to pay child support or worry about custody issues VZ but I do think that it's extremely unfair how the courts are so stacked against fathers, as if women are never shitty mothers. Stereotypical.

Van Zan said...

Can you imagine the rage born of having some shmuck, a bitter ex and a greasy lawyer declare you have nothing good to give your own children...