Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm Afraid Suzanna Logan Might Not Like Me

Again. From earlier today:

Because I expect to be super busy lazy today, I’m going to let y’all do the talking for me … via the best google searches that led to my page this week. Plus, you guys are much more entertaining than I’ll ever be...

...Top three searches:

1) "Fox News Megan Kelly legs"

2) "Woman hate me because I’m beautiful"

3) "I love Logan"

...3) Finally, for “I love Logan,” I have two guesses:..

[Guess which one I don't care about?]

- Last and certainly not least, the "idiot liberal guy":

If the photoshopped picture isn’t bad enough. Trust me, it gets worse.
Ouch Sweetits, very ouch. I responded thusly:
Oh Suzanna, you wound me, girl (your use of the vernacular "ya'll" aside).

I know you quit checking out my site when I mentioned your daily tresspasses but I never suspected such a frontal assault (oh, that sounds hot, doesn't it?).

Is it because I don't have a clever sounding net-handle? Or because I upset your wrinkled "mentor"? Or because I pwned one of his elderly, sycophantic fanboys? It had nothing to do with you Sweetits, they both came after me unprovoked.

And while I do enjoy your little posts, I take it personnally that you have such animosity towards me. Do you not enjoy the attentions of the unfairer sex? You're not really that way, are you? It's cool if you are; I can work with that (I most definitely have in the past).

Take my affections as a compliment darlin, as they're sincerely intended. Don't sully your pretty visage with bitterness. It most certainly does not become you.

And you don't have anything to prove by ignoring my comments as you have in the past. I know that it diminishes your neocon cred with the circles you run in but isn't that what makes being bad fun? Take care, sweets.
Now some might take this rebuke as a subtle hint, but I don't do subtle when I see something I like. It only says one thing to me: this girl's still thinking about yours truly. And it's true, someone in Birmingham was visiting my site daily until I gave her a little shout out in an update. But full disclosure, darlin: it wasn't me Googling you (that sounds hot too, huh?) with "love". It's OK, you're not the first girl to mistake my attentions in that manner. I just hope that your heart is stronger than the others'...


JoeBama "Truth 101" Kelly said...

Take comfort in knowing that despite Sweetits' outward loathing of you JBW, you still have a better chance of doing naughty Nihilist stuff with her than any of the poor right wing fools that visit her site hourly in hopes she will answer their comments.

JBW said...

She's just playing hard to get, T101. Maybe I should pull her pigtails on the playground a few more times, see where it gets me.